The One With Phoebe’s Husband

2007年12月10日 发表评论 阅读评论

The One With Phoebe’s Husband


Originally written by Alexa Junge
Transcribed by Josh Hodge.

204 菲比的丈夫

想不到菲比竟有个丈夫叫邓肯,此人是个同性恋,是菲比的加拿大朋友,她帮他拿美国绿卡所以结婚。

菲比从始至终一直暗恋他。

六年过去了,他却回来说要离婚。

原来他并非同志,现在爱上了别的女人,要重新结婚。

菲比的地下婚姻的曝光成了导火索,其余人的秘密相继暴露:

屋外电话亭顶上的内裤是莫妮卡和有趣的波比在阳台鬼混时掉下去的;

钱德有第三个乳头;

乔伊演过三级片(当时他年幼无知,人家叫他演看客)

罗斯调整不好心情同朱丽亲热,所以向瑞秋求助;

瑞秋不怀好意教罗斯欲擒故纵,并使尽浑身解数拖延时间,想使罗斯同朱丽亲热的计划泡汤


[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]

RACHEL: Mom, would you relax放心. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c’mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there’s nothing [a pigeon鸽子 flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that’s fine, you just read the paper, I’m gonna get a pot, it’s not for you. [grabs a pot and lid给……盖盖子] OK, that’s fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It’s open you guys.
Family Circus家庭马戏团(由一本卡通书改编的一部卡通片)/gentle comedy轻喜剧
[a stranger enters with flowers]

STRANGER: Hi.

RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?

STRANGER: Yeah, I’m looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?

RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn’t but I can, I can get a message to her.

STRANGER: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by顺路拜访. [leaves flowers on bar横木]

RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away逃脱]

STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?

OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]

JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?

PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I’m not married married并非实际意义上的结婚, ya know, he’s just a friend and he’s gay and he’s just from Canada and he just needed a green card.

MONICA: I can’t believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.

PHOEBE: I’m sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you’d get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
judgemental adj.审判的to批评的/approve v.赞成/judge:评头论足,谁做了什么或说了什么,别人就加以评论,认为他不好什么的
谁都不喜欢别人评价自己,美国人可能对这种做法更反感。Don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t be so judgemental!!! 就是别老是评价别人 .judge这个评价是指,看到别人的行为后,便说(或认为)此人不道德,自私,行为不检,没水平….. 一般都不是好的评价

MONICA: Of course I wouldn’t approve, I mean, you were
totally in love with爱死了 this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?

ROSS: You see你们瞧, and you thought she’d be judgemental你们还以为她很爱批评人.

PHOEBE: OK, I wasn’t in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.

MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas一直穿着睡衣 for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
cheeseburger n.夹干酪和碎牛肉的三明治, 放有干酪的肉饼
ALL: Huuh.

MONICA: Well, didn’t you?

PHOEBE: I might have.

MONICA: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.

PHOEBE: Oh, c’mon, like you tell me everything.

MONICA: What have I not told you?

PHOEBE: Oh, I don’t know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole电话杆 is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace露台,阳台=balcony.

RACHEL: What!

MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who’s looking sheepish羞怯的] You are dead meat你死定了.

CHANDLER: I didn’t know it was a big secret.

MONICA: Oh it’s not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as同样的事情, say, oh I don’t know, having a third nipple.

PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?

CHANDLER: You bitch.

ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out.

whip v.a.鞭笞,鞭打b.快速而突然地移动(He whipped out a knife)c.搅打(,奶油)/whip up 激发(民众的强烈感情),唤起/whip out露出/whip it out秀一下,秀一下

CHANDLER: C’mon, there’s nothin’ to see, it’s just a tiny bump小肿块, it’s totally useless.

RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to相反地 your other multi-functional多功能的 nipples?

JOEY: I can’t believe you. You told me it was a nubbin小瘤.

ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?

JOEY: I don’t know, you see somethin’, you hear a word, I thought that’s what it was. Let me see it again.

ALL: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.

CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie.
porno(=pornographer, =pornography) 色情书刊(=porn)/porno movie色情电影
ALL: Huuh.

CHANDLER: If I’m goin’ down, I’m takin’ everybody with me.

ROSS: You were in a porno?

JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn’t go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can’t ’cause there’s people havin’ sex on it.
at the last minute到最后一刻go through withv.完成, 进行到底/copier n.复印机
MONICA: That is wild狂野.

ROSS: [to Chandler] So what’s it shaped like它形状如何?

PHOEBE: Yeah, is there a hair毛发 on it?

JOEY: What happens if you flick轻弹 it?

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]

ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?

CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.

delivery n.递送,引渡,交付,分娩=labor/ Narnia: 钱德勒被发现有第三个乳头。罗斯好奇地问,那你这个多出来的乳头有没有什么特别的功能。又气又急的钱德勒反讽说:按一下我的第三个乳头,就会打开通往纳尼亚(Narnia)神异王国的通道。纳尼亚是西方著名的儿童魔幻小说,描述了四个小孩经由衣橱到达神奇的纳尼亚王国的故事。
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
virile adj.男性的, 男的, 有男子气概的, 精力充沛的/virility n.男子气概/hut n.小棚屋
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
per chance每一可能 to有可能/tri-state area: Tri-state Area,即纽约州,新泽西州和康涅狄格州。上述三州现为美国东部最具购买力和强劲发展的经济区域。


ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don’t know?

RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie’s so smart, Julie’s so special.

MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did我和你一样希望Ross能和你走到一起. But he’s with her now and you’re just gonna have to get over it.

hook up with v.以勾勾住 to与……恋爱/get over v.熬过,忘却(感情)

RACHEL: Ohh, I’m gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn’t know that’s I had to do, I just have to get over it.

[Phoebe enters all dressed up盛装打扮]

ALL: Woah.

JOEY: Foxy lady.
foxy adj.如狐的,狡猾的
JULIE: Where you goin’?

PHOEBE: Um, I’m gonna go meet Duncan, he’s skating tonight at the Garden, he’s in the Capades冰上剧团.

 JOEY: The Ice Capades?
Ice Capades is a famous skating performance group in US. 类似于冰上歌舞表演,表演者穿着冰鞋和华丽的服饰在冰上表演一个故事或是纯粹的歌舞
CHANDLER: No, no the gravel capades. Yeah, the turns aren’t
as fast but when Snoopy falls. . . funny.
gravel n.砾石/turn n.旋转
MONICA: I can’t believe you’re dressing up for him. I mean, you’re just, you’re
setting yourself up all over again让你自己重蹈覆辙.

you’re setting yourself up all over again: set somebody up是设计,陷害某人的意思,set yourself up这里是说MonicaPhoebe又陷入对Duncan的感情,不能自拔,也可以说是把自己有赔进去了

PHOEBE: OK, no. For your
information根据你的说法 I’m going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me把这些感情抛在我身后,:彻底忘了他. OK, and the reason I’m dressed like this is because I think it’s nice to look nice for your gay husband.

ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit该死的, we’re all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler‘s chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?

pitch n.球场/pitcher n.(带柄和倾口的)大水罐, (棒球)投手/flip vt.,/fill up填满

CHANDLER: Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . .

[Scene: Central Perk close to closing临近营业结束. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]

ROSS: OK sweetie, I’ll see you later.

JULIE: See you later Rach.

RACHEL: Bye-bye Julie. [Julie leaves]

[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]

RACHEL: Hey.

ROSS: Hey.

[Ross kicks her again]

RACHEL: Hey, c’mon, cut it out.

cut it out停止(做某事), 住手[]

ROSS: Hey?

RACHEL: What?

ROSS: Can I ask you somethin’?

RACHEL: Sure.

ROSS: Naa.

RACHEL: What? C’mon, talk to me.

ROSS: OK, what’s the longest最长时间 you’ve been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex?

RACHEL: Why? Who’s not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?

ROSS: Technically, huh, no.

RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it ’cause she‘s so cold in bed性冷淡. Or, or is it ’cause she’s like, kinda bossy专横的, makes it feel like school?

ROSS: No, no, she’s great and it’s not like we haven’t done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of许多 other stuff, lot’s of other stuff, like uhh. . .

RACHEL: No, no no no, don’t need to know the details.

ROSS: It’s just, it’s, it’s me. You, you know I’ve only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I’ve got myself all psyched out, you know, and it’s become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I’m weird.
psych out v.吓坏, 装疯以逃避
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don’t think it’s weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?

ROSS: What?

RACHEL: I think it’s sexy.

ROSS: Sexy?

RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.

ROSS: No kidding?

RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I’d do?

ROSS: What?

RACHEL: I’d wait.

ROSS: You’d wait?

RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I’d wait some more.

ROSS: Really?

RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don’t care how much she tells you she wants it, I don’t care if begs乞求, she pleads恳求, she tells you she, she’s gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it’s working这收到了效果.

ROSS: Women really want this?

RACHEL: More than jewelry珠宝. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]

strut v.大摇大摆地走,高视阔步

[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Duncan’s dressing room.]

PHOEBE: Hi.

DUNCAN: Phoebe!

PHOEBE: Ta-da.

DUNCAN: Hey.

PHOEBE: Hi.

DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great.

PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.

DUNCAN: Thanks.

PHOEBE: Sparkly闪耀的. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy冰上剧团主演. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger’s Ice is Nice儿童节目中的道具.

King Friday in MrRoger’s Ice 弗雷迪王(King Friday)和罗杰先生(MrRoger)都是美国著名的儿童节目《罗杰先生的邻居(MrRoger’s Neighborhood)》中的人物。弗雷迪十三世国王和罗杰先生有一点小恩怨,菲比在看望同性恋丈夫时说的这个演出弗雷迪国王在罗杰先生的冰上听上去像是菲比自己杜撰的名字。
DUNCAN: You always said I’d make it我会成功.

PHOEBE: Yeah, well, ya know, I’m kind of spooky that way. Wooo.

spooky adj.幽灵般的,怪异的,神经质的

DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I’m gonna get changed.

PHOEBE: OK.

DUNCAN: Um, now. Phoebs.

PHOEBE: Oh, right, OK. Ole冲刺.

DUNCAN: What?

PHOEBE: Um, the matador斗牛士. [Duncan leaves] Ole, ha ha ha.

[Scene: Ross’s apartment. Ross and Julie are setting the table.]

set the table摆饭桌 摆餐具

ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]

[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don’t notice.]

CHANDLER: Uh, Julie.

JULIE: Yeah?

CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist古生物学者 on your face. But, uh, it’s gone now, you’re alright.

ROSS: Hi everyone.

ALL: Hi.

ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.

RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you‘re gonna go with伴随 the uh, waiting thing?

ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.

RACHEL: What did, what did he say?

ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself克服自己(的心理阴影) and just do it, ya know. So I thought about what you said and I thought about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .

[Scene: Ross’s apartment. After dinner. Chandler enters.]

CHANDLER: What’s this in my pocket? Why it’s Joey’s porno movie.

ROSS: Pop it in放出来看看.

pop in v.突然出现 突然进来

JOEY: I’m fine with it我不介意, I mean, if you’re OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. [Chandler puts the tape in]

RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that’s just what I need to see.

ROSS: What’s wrong with people having sex?

RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive冒犯人的 and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting’s always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
degrade v.使)降级, (使)堕落, (使)退化 to使丢脸,侮辱/unflattering adj.不奉承的,不讨好人的


MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.

cheesy adj.干酪质的, <美俚>(质量)低劣的, 下等的, <英俚>俊俏的, 潇洒的

JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just start doing it right. . . oh, never mind.

CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I’ve ever seen.

MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job她最好被聘用.

ROSS: Looks to me据我看来 like he’s the one getting the job他被聘用了.

JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I’m comin’ to fix the copier, I can’t get to the copier, I’m thinkin’ what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch ’em have sex. And then I say, wait, here’s my line, [Joey from TV] you know that’s bad for the paper tray.
the paper tray(n.托盘) n.送纸闸


CHANDLER: Nice work my friend.

JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy’s butt’s blockin’ me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .

[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan‘s dressing room. Phoebe is fixing her hair修整下发型 and Duncan enters.]

PHOEBE: So um, so what’s up, you came to see me yesterday.

DUNCAN: Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce.

PHOEBE: Ohh. . .K. How come?

DUNCAN: Umm, actually, I’m getting married again.

PHOEBE: What?

DUNCAN: Oh God, I don’t know how to tell you this. I’m straight正常的性取向,不是同性恋,是异性恋.

PHOEBE: Huuh.

DUNCAN: Yeah, I know, I.

PHOEBE: I, I don’t, I don’t understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you’re, you’re so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
Academy Awardn.<>奥斯卡奖(美国电影艺术金像奖)/throw party开一场聚会


DUNCAN: I know, that’s what I kept telling myself but you just
reach a point到了某个程度 where you can’t live a lie anymore.
live a lie v.做人虚伪


PHOEBE: So how long have you known?

DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level在某种层面上来说 I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I’m an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin’ to fit in合群.

PHOEBE: And um, and there’s actually a, a woman?

DUNCAN: Her name’s Debra.

PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you’ve been with?

DUNCAN: Well, I’ve never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college追溯到大学时, when I’d get really drunk, go to a straight bar异性恋酒吧 and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor烈性酒,酒精饮料 and e-everyone experiments in college.

PHOEBE: Sure.

DUNCAN: But now I know I don’t have a choice about this, I was born this way.

PHOEBE: I, I don’t know what to say. I mean, you know, you’re married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, ‘Oh, I’m not gay.’

DUNCAN: I’m, I’m still me我还是我.

PHOEBE: Why couldn’t you have just figured this out发现,领会到 six years ago?

[Scene: Ross’s apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]

MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.

JULIE: That saves us a conversation我们又有话说了.

CHANDLER: Well, listen, this has been great but I’m officially wiped<>累死了.

JOEY: Me too, we should get goin’.

RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c’mon you guys, I mean, c’mon look it’s only eleven thirty. Let’s just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.

MONICA: Rachel, that’s all we do.

RACHEL: Maybe that’s all we do, what about Julie?

JULIE: What about Julie?

RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don’t really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don’t you like? We wanna hear everything.

JULIE: Well, that could take a while要花一点时间.

RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?

CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie.

JOEY: I got time.

MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well我非常了解她, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That’s fine.

RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let’s start with your childhood, what was that like?

JULIE: Well, in a nutshell简单来说. . .
nutshell n.坚果壳
RACHEL: Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh.

[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan‘s dressing room. Phoebe is signing the divorce papers.]

PHOEBE: So, um, have you told your parents?

DUNCAN: No, but it’ll be OK, they’re pretty cool, my brother’s straight so. . .

PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I’m sorry, don’t tell me, I don’t think either answer would make me feel better.

DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]

PHOEBE: So your brother’s straigh huh? Seriously说真的.

[Scene: Ross’s apartment. Julie is telling her live story生活经历.]

JULIE: And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.

RAHCEL: Mrs., Mrs. Gobb?

JULIE: No Cobb, as in cobb salad.

cobb salad:好吃的高伯沙拉  也有翻成海鸥沙拉,这道菜肴是公元一九三六年由一位餐厅老板Robber Cobb 发明的。之后这道好吃的沙拉和凯萨沙拉,就成了那年代首道可当主食的沙拉,而非只是当附餐而已。这道沙拉里的材料,主要就是在生菜沙拉上面,铺洒炭烤鸡肉、熏猪肉、黄瓜、水煮蛋和乳酪等。而Rechel故意追问这道名沙拉的内容,真的可说是没话找话讲。
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?

CHANDLER: I’m goin’ home.

RACHEL: What?

[Outside in the hallway走廊, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]

JOEY: Boy that Julie’s a talker健谈者, huh?

ROSS: Goodnight.

RACHEL: So, it’s pretty late, you’re probably uh, not still planning on. . .

ROSS: Oh, no no, I am.

RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?

ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.

RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle处理 it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce突袭?
pounce v.(+on) a.猛扑,突然袭击b.渴望抓住(She pounced on the chance to go abroad)


ROSS: I uh, I don’t know, I guess I’m just gonna see, see what happens.

RAHCEL: OK, gook luck.

ROSS: Wha, uhh, what?

RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn’t go well, well then that’s, that’s pretty darn hard to recover from.
darn v.织补(darn his socks)/recover from 恢复,恢复知觉


ROSS: OK, now I’m nervous.

RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.

ROSS: No, no, I don’t wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable痛苦的,悲惨的, ya know, and now, now I’m actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don’t wanna, I don’t wanna mess it up搞砸, ya know.

RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry.

ROSS: What, it’s not your fault.

RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn’t have to be this tough如此困难. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole你已经把一切都推向正轨了, you know, spontaneous自发的,自然而生的,顺其自然的 thing. I mean, women really like that.

ROSS: Really?

RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I’d want you to, I don’t know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away把头发拨弄开 from my face, and look far into my eyes凝视我的眼睛 in a way 在某种程度上,稍稍地that let’s me know that something amazing is about to happen.

ROSS: [being drawn in陷入 by her talk] Uh-huh.

RACHEL: And then, I don’t know, I mean you’d pull me really close to you so that, so that I’d be pressed up紧紧地贴着, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty出汗的 and uh, and blurry模糊的to目眩神迷, and then it’s just happening.

ROSS: Ohh. . . Thanks Rach, goodnight. [goes back in apartment]

RACHEL: Ohh, God.

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along往前跳舞, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]

ROSS: Good morning.

OLD WOMAN: Well, somebody got some爽到了 last night.

ROSS: Twice.

END


 

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