The One That Could Have Been

2009年10月9日

The One That Could Have Been


Part I Written by: Greg Malins & Adam Chase
Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman
Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen

{Transcriber’s Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, that’s why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}

615 假想篇外篇(上集)

巴利和明蒂离婚的消息使大家大为震惊,如果时光倒转,大家都选择不同的生活道路:

瑞秋嫁给了巴利,罗斯的太太卡萝没有意识到她是个女同志;如果莫妮卡仍是“千斤小姐”;而乔伊仍是《光辉岁月》中的大明星;如果钱德辞去他同数据打交道的工作而开始写作;如果菲比当上了股票经济……生活会是怎样?

多年未见的罗斯和瑞秋在街上偶遇,同样婚姻不顺,却要强颜欢笑。

罗斯带瑞秋到中央咖啡馆去看望莫妮卡;

迷恋肥皂剧中瑞摩瑞医生的瑞秋迅速迷上了乔伊。

莫妮卡和超级无聊的罗杰医生走动。

无业的钱德决定当乔伊的助理,但工作不太开心。

给乔伊当助理的经历启发了他,创作了一个Archie喜剧。

菲比赚钱成瘾,工作成狂,结果在证券市场上赔掉了1300万美金。

她住院时,罗斯接到她老板的电话,得知菲比被解雇,但他顾虑她的健康状况、而没胆子告诉她。

罗斯向卡萝建议说,既然他们长时间没有性生活了,不妨找点新鲜刺激。

卡萝不喜欢罗斯的诸多提议,单单选择了三人行。

瑞秋决定同乔伊一夜情.

莫妮卡仍是处女,被瑞秋发现了。

6.15 The One That Could Have Been, part 1

News that Barry and Mindy are getting divorced gets the gang wondering what their lives would be like if Rachel married Barry;

if Ross’s wife Carol hadn’t realized she was a lesbian;

if Monica was still fat;

if Joey was still on Days of Our Lifes;

if Chandler had quit his data entry job to pursue writing;

and if Phoebe was a stock broker:

Ross and Rachel, both in unhappy marriages, run into each other on the street after not seeing each other for years.

Ross brings Rachel to Central Perk to see Monica;

Rachel quickly swoons(v.狂喜) over Joey, aka(=also known as) Dr. Drake Ramoray.

Monica is dating the very boring Dr. Roger.

Chandler is unemployed, but takes a job as Joey’s assistant, which doesn’t work out very well;

but he is inspired by the experience and sells his first story to Archie Comics.

Phoebe is ruthless(adj.残忍的 无情的) and greedy, and has a heart attack after losing 13 million dollars on the stock market.

While she’s in the hospital, Ross finds out she’s fired, but he doesn’t dare tell her, fearing it will cause another heart attack.

Ross suggests to Carol that they spice up their non-existant sex life.

Carol doesn’t like any of his ideas… except having a threesome.

Rachel decides to have a fling with(与…一时地放纵) Joey.

Monica reveals she’s still a virgin.


616 假想篇外篇(下集)

假想篇继续:罗斯和卡萝邀苏珊三人行,但罗斯感觉备受冷落。

菲比在医院闲极无聊,溜回公司,发现自己被炒,第二次心脏病爆发。

瑞秋在乔伊家过夜,饮酒过多,犯病呕吐。

莫妮卡决心为罗杰医生奉献第一次,但医生被医院呼走。

钱德和莫妮卡独处,决定来个一夜情。

之后钱德劝莫妮卡甩掉医生,当他的女朋友。

瑞秋庆幸自己因失态而没有背叛巴利,回家时却发现巴利和临家常遛狗的女人滚在床上。

愤怒的瑞秋回头找乔伊, 却碰到了罗斯.

婚姻触礁的两人互相安慰,瑞秋帮罗斯分析,说卡萝是个女同志。

菲比回咖啡馆驻唱。

6.16 The One That Could Have Been, part 2

In the continuation(n.继续) of the alternate reality: Ross and Carol have a threesome with Susan, but Ross feels left out.

Phoebe goes stir-crazy(adj.因长期禁闭而发疯的) in the hospital, and sneaks back to work, only to find our she’s been fired, and promptly(adv.马上地) has another heart attack.

Rachel spends the evening at Joey’s, but gets drunk and sick, and passes out.

Monica decides it’s time to have sex with Dr. Roger, but he gets paged and leaves.

Chandler and Monica decide to have a one-night stand(一夜情 一夜演出), but afterwards Chandler convinces her to dump the doctor and be with him.

Rachel, relieved that she didn’t cheat on Barry, returns home and find Barry in bed with another woman… their neighbor’s dog walker.

She returns to the city to hook back up with Joey, but runs into Ross.

They console each other(v.彼此安慰) on their bad marriages and Rachel helps Ross realize that Carol is a lesbian.

Phoebe goes back to singing at the coffee house.


[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there is there as.]

Chandler: So it seems like this Internet thing is here to stay, huh?

Monica: It’s okay not to talk.

Rachel: (enters) Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!

Monica: Oh my God!

Phoebe: Wow!

Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!

Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.

Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-who’s Barry and Mindy?

Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.

Joey: Ohh-oh, wasn’t he cheating on you with her?

Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.

on top of one another<idiom>Very close to, crowded [eg: I didn’t see her until she was right on top of us]

Monica: Why did they get divorced?

Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isn’t that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?

Ross: I know what you mean, I’ve always wondered how different my life would be if-if I’d never gotten divorced.

Phoebe: Which time?

Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadn’t realized she was a lesbian.

Joey: (starts to imagine it) I can’t. I keep seeing it the good way我一直朝好的方面想.

Ross: I’d bet I’d still be doing my kara-tay. (That’s karate, he’s just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from y’know, not doing anything else physical.

Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.

Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldn’t be dating me, that’s for sure.

Chandler: Sure I would!

All: (simultaneously) Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right!

Chandler: What, you guys really think that I’m that shallow?

shallow adj.浅薄的 肤浅的

Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.

Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, there’s Carol again!

Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? I’d probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my job’s fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I don’t have to wear a tie.

the New Yorker:这一集里展现了老友们可能的另外一种生活轨迹。钱德勒说,如果他当初真的有胆量从现在的工作中辞职,他现在可能成为为《纽约客(New Yorker)》撰稿的名作家了。《纽约客》是美国第一位的文学杂志,在上面发表一篇文章标志着作者的一个荣耀。当然,最早的《纽约客》是不给作者署名的/The New Yorker is an American magazine that publishes reportage(n.报告文学), criticism, essays, cartoons, poetry and fiction. Originally a weekly(n.周刊), the magazine is now published 47 times per year with five (usually more expansive) issues covering two-week spans.Although its reviews and events listings often focus on the cultural life of New York City, The New Yorker has a wide audience outside of New York. It is well known for its commentaries(n.评论) on popular culture and eccentric Americana[美国(或美洲)文献]; its attention to modern fiction by the inclusion of short stories and literary reviews; its rigorous fact-checking and copyediting(n.校对); its journalism about world politics and social issues; and its famous, single-panel cartoons sprinkled throughout each issue.

Phoebe: What if I had taken that job at Merrill Lynch?

Merrill Lynch:菲比则想起了她的按摩顾客曾经提议让她加入美林证券公司公司(Merrill Lynch),这是全世界知名的证券公司和投资银行,与高盛公司 (Goldman Sachs & Co.)和J.P.Morgan并称为世界三大投资银行。菲比如果加入了美林,那可真的就是像她后来在这一集里经历的一秒钟“几千万上下”了/ Merrill Lynch & Co., Inc., through its subsidiaries and affiliates, provides capital markets services, investment banking and advisory services(n.咨询机构), wealth management, asset management, insurance, banking and related products and services on a global basis. The firm’s global headquarters are located in New York City and it is one of the most recognizable names in financial services. The company occupies the entire 34 stories of the Four World Financial Center building in Manhattan.

Ross: What?!

Rachel: Merrill Lynch?

Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.

knack n.本领 熟练技巧(+for)[eg:He has a knack for making furniture]

Rachel: Well why didn’t you take the job?

Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought y’know that if I’d work with stocks, I’d have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.

rhymed adj.压韵的/lox: Smoked salmon n.熏鲑鱼

Chandler: Yeah, you don’t want that in a broker.

broker n.股票(或证券)经纪人(=stockbroker)

Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, we’d still hang out?

Opening Credits

{Transcriber’s note: This is where the opening credits are, but they’re not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachel’s still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then they’re dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and then turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesn’t apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}

opening credits:是电影或电视节目里的片头字幕,本是要来列出该片的制作人、导演、主要演员等等。Credit是类似功绩、功劳的意思。 如果用于音乐会里,这词则代表前奏、开场音乐/shop-aholic n.购物狂/shark <俚>能手 内行 专家/groupie <美俚>仰慕并追随摇滚乐团之少女 仰慕并追随名人之少年/flex vt. 屈曲(四肢等)/Wall Street is a narrow street in lower Manhattan in New York City, running east from Broadway downhill to South Street on the East River. Considered to be the historical heart of the Financial District, it was the first permanent home of the New York Stock Exchange(n.纽约证券交易所).The phrase “Wall Street” is shorthand(n.简略的表达方式) or metonymy(n.转喻) for all big business in the United States, based in New York or not. The term is also used as a metonym to refer to American financial markets and financial institutions as a whole. Wall Street is also often referred to as “The Street”. Most New York-based financial firms are no longer headquartered on Wall Street, but elsewhere in lower or midtown Manhattan, the outer boroughs of the city, Long Island, Westchester County, Fairfield County, Connecticut, or New Jersey.

flex

[Scene: A newsstand, Ross is buying a magazine and gets in line behind a woman.]

Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?

Rachel: (gasps) Rob Tillman!

Ross: No-no. It’s-it’s me, Ross!

Rachel: Oh, I’m sorry. Ross Tillman.

Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.

Rachel: Ohh, of course Monica’s brother!

Ross: Yeah. Right.

Rachel: Wow! How are you?!

Ross: Good-good, I’m-I’m married. (Shows her his ring.)

Rachel: Ohh! Me too!

Ross: Is-isn’t it the best?

Rachel: Oh, it’s the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm how’s Monica?

exhale v.呼气 发出/contemplate v.沉思

Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually she’s right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop by and say hi.

Rachel: Ohh, I would love to.

Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, she’d be so excited!

Rachel: Ohh! Okay!

Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)

Rachel: Oh wait, don’t you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?

busty adj.(妇女)大胸脯的 乳房丰满的

Ross: No, it’s okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I don’t…

Rachel: (laughs) Oh yeah? Okay.

Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.

Rachel: But! Don’t you have to give him his money back?

Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, let’s go see Monica!

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monica’s boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monica’s fat, I won’t be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]

Joey: So Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh?

Monica: He’s not boring! He’s just-he’s just low key.

low key adj.低调的 (默默地)努力的(=low profile)

Monica’s Boyfriend: (returning) Here we go, one Hazelnut Latte. (Hands it to Monica and sits down.)

hazelnut n.榛子/Hazelnut Latte,the Brazil nut:假想版中莫尼卡仍然是一个胖子,而她的男友则是一个无聊透顶的人。本集他首次出场是递给莫尼卡一杯“榛果香奶咖啡(Hazelnut Latte)”。但他和人说,榛果(Hazelnut)并非是坚果的一种,而是一种种子。然后,他还问了大家一个问题,什么东西名字像榛果那样名字里有坚果(Nut),但其实却不是坚果?大家都觉得这个问题无聊不愿回答,他最后自己揭晓了答案:巴西坚果(the Brazil nut)。这是一种加工糖果的热带作物,好了,不解释下去了,否则就和这个无聊的男友一样无聊了

hazelnut latte

Monica: Thanks.

Monica’s Boyfriend: Yeah. Y’know, the hazelnut actually not a nut, it’s a seed.

Joey: (not impressed) Wow!!

Monica’s Boyfriend: Can anyone else name a well known seed that’s been masquerading as a nut?

masquerade vi.参加化装舞会 化装 冒充

Joey: Oh dear God, let me think. (Starts to sarcastically think about it.)

Chandler: (entering, depressed) Hey.

Joey: Hey.

Monica: Oh no! What’s the matter?

Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not “Archie Comic funny.”

Archie Comic钱德勒后来接到了退稿信,信中编辑还嘲讽他说:“你的稿子是很有趣,但只是《阿奇漫画(Archie Comic)》那种有趣。”《阿奇漫画》是美国的一个著名漫画,后来也出了同名的漫画集子,但其地位显然不能和《纽约客》相提并论。但后来钱德勒终于得以在《阿奇漫画》发表了一篇稿子/Archie Comics is an American comic book publisher known for its many series featuring the fictional teenage Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, Reggie Mantle and Forsythe “Jughead” Jones characters created by Bob Montana. All characters were based on people he knew in Haverhill, Massachusetts(n.马萨诸塞州). Archie’s first appearance in Pep Comics #22 on December 22, 1941, was drawn by Montana and written by Vic Bloom. With the creation of Archie, publisher John L. Goldwater hoped to appeal to fans of the Andy Hardy movies starring Mickey Rooney.Archie Comics is also the title of the company’s longest running publication, the first issue appearing with a cover date of Winter 1942. Starting with issue #114 the title was shortened to simply Archie.

Monica’s Boyfriend: Y’know what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.

Monica: Okay.

Monica’s Boyfriend: (kisses her) Okay.

Monica: Bye.

Monica’s Boyfriend: Bye-bye. (Gets up to leave.) Oh uh, by the way, the answer is, the Brazil nut. (Exits.)

brazil nut n.巴西胡桃

Chandler: Was his question what’s more boring than him? And nice sweater vest, by the way.

sweater vest

Monica: Stop it, guys. He’s sweet.

Joey: Yeah, yeah Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?

Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.

Joey: Really?

Chandler: Ehh.

Monica: Maybe Joey doesn’t have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?

Joey: That’s an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?

Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!

fan mail n.影迷来信 追星族来信

Joey: That’s great! That would be great! Let’s do that!

Chandler: I could use the money; it could give me time to write.

Joey: Oh right great! Welcome aboard欢迎加入!

Chandler: Okay!

Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don’t need any assistance in there, take a break!

Chandler: All right!

(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. She’s wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)

business suit n.<美>西装 套装

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?

Phoebe: What?

Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!

Phoebe: Ohh that’s so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, it’s a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.Oh, what a shame. l really liked her.

come after v.跟在…后面

(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)

Ross: Hey Mon!

Monica: Hey!

Ross: Mon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)

Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!

big bear hug

Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (She’s not quite sure of that one.)

Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!

Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)

Chandler: Hey.

Rachel: Oh yeah.

Ross: And that’s Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)

Phoebe: Hi!

Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long has it been since we’ve seen each other?

Ross: (answering it) 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahon’s party. I played you one of my songs, y’know Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.

interplanetary adj.行星间的 太阳系内的/courtship n.求爱 求爱时期

Rachel: Oh yeah. Right. So now, are—do you, do you still do music?

Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! I’ll play you one of my other…

Rachel: (interrupting him and seeing Joey) Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here!

Monica: Rach, he’s a friend of ours.

Rachel: (stunned) You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?

Chandler: Well it’s kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that he’s not real.

Ross: (To Rachel) Hey-hey, or I could bring my keyboard over here sometime!

Rachel: He’s coming over! He’s coming over!

Monica: (getting up) Joey!

Joey: (holding a plate of what looks like Rice Krispie treats) I know, here-here!! (Hands her the plate.)

Rice Krispie treats are a sweet dessert or snack made from Rice Krispies, melted margarine(n.人造黄油) or butter, melted marshmallows(n. 果浆软糖 棉花糖), and vanilla(n.香草). Sometimes marshmallows and/or cereal that is seasonal(adj.季节性的) is used to make these treats holiday specific. They are often homemade, but one can find them in many stores usually packaged under the Rice Krispies brand.There are many variations to the treat; adding caramel(n.焦糖) instead of marshmallows, adding condensed milk to the mixture before adding the rice krispies, using corn syrup(n.玉米糖浆) and peanut butter, adding mandarin oranges(n.橙子), and others. One variation is to use chocolate instead of marshmallows which is known as “Chocolate Crackles”. Kellogg’s has now produced commercial varieties(n.商业品种) of both the marshmallow and chocolate-based treats under the name of “Rice Krispies Squares”.

Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.

Rachel: (giggles and can’t look at him) Hi!

Joey: (shaking Rachel’s hand) Hi!

Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you…

Joey: Well, it’s always nice to meet the fans.

Rachel: Ah!

Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) She’s not crazy is she?

Monica: No.

Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin’?

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe’s cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]

Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Who’s this? (Listens) Oh okay, you’re gonna like working for me. What’s your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I… Whatever… Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.

Chandler: I can’t find my pen. Did you eat that too?

Joey: (entering) Hey there you are你们都在啊!

Chandler: Uh-oh, it’s my boss!

Joey: All right, here’s a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work I’m delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)

deliver twin v.接生双胞胎

Chandler: (reading the list) Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.

drop off<口>送掉[eg1: He said he would drop the parcel off at the post office. eg2:I can drop the laundry off on my way to work]/dry cleaning n.干洗

jeans

Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are don’t you?

Chandler: What?

Monica: You’re his bitch.

bitch<贬俚>小喽罗

Phoebe: (yelling from Monica’s room) No-no!! No!!

Monica: (panicked) Oh wait! You didn’t just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!

A Kit Kat bar or KitKat bar is a confection(n.糖果) which was first created by Rowntree Limited of York, England, and now produced worldwide by Nestlé, which acquired Rowntree in 1988, except in the USA where it is made under license by Hershey’s. It consists of thick bars composed of three layers of creme-filled(=cream-filled) wafer, covered in an outer layer of chocolate. Each finger can be snapped(v.猛咬) from the bar one at a time.

Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little dip in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.

dip n.(价格的)下跌[eg: The price of grain took a dip]

Chandler: But the Kit-Kats are all right?!

Phoebe: What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! I can’t call my office they’ll kill me! I can’t call my clients they’ll kill themselves! Great, now my chest hurts.

Monica: What?!

Phoebe: (louder) My chest hurts! Oh, and now I-I can’t breathe.

Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!

Phoebe: Oh, if I were, would-would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?

shooting pains n.刺痛

Monica: Yes!!

Phoebe: Then yes that is what I’m having. (Takes another puff of the cigarette.)

Monica: Oh my God!

Phoebe: Okay, this thing is useless. So will you dial 911 for me?

Commercial Break

[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]

Ross: Come on Pheebs, it’s not that bad! Y’know most people would be excited if they didn’t have to work for a couple of weeks.

Phoebe: Most people don’t like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and I’m already going crazy. I miss Joan.

Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is nature’s way of telling you to slow it down.

Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was nature’s way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But you’re not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but you’re not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.

Monica: Let’s take a walk. (They start to leave.) Y’know maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)

Phoebe: (To Ross) So what’s going on with you?

Ross: Well umm, I’ve been doing a lot of more my kara-tay.

Phoebe: Still going through that dry spell with Carol?

dry spell<俚>to go for a period of time (usually longer than shorter) without something; sex, drugs, etc.

Ross: Yeah.

Phoebe: How long has it been since you had sex?

Ross: Well, last weekend…

Phoebe: Oh that’s not so bad.

Ross: …will be two months……since I stopped trying.

Phoebe: Maybe you need to spice things up a little.

spice up v.增添情趣

Ross: What-what do you mean?

Phoebe: I don’t know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other…

tie up v. 绑好 缚牢/eat off v.吃掉

Ross: Oh.

Phoebe: Y’know, dirty talk, ménage à trois, toys…

A ménage à trois is the French term describing a relationship or domestic(adj. 一心追求家庭乐趣的) arrangement in which three people, often a married couple and another lover, share a sexual relationship, although the relationship might or might not involve all three persons having sexual relations with each other. The French phrase literally translates as “household of three”.3P

Ross: Wow!

Phoebe: Roll playing… You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!

roll play n.角色扮演/wench<古>村姑 荡妇 妓女

Ross: Okay, I think I got it.

Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and you’re-you’re-you’re rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybody’s watching! (Ross looks at her.)Never happened.

stockbroker n.股票(或证券)经纪人/ trading floor n.交易所中的交易场地

trading floor

[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]

gurney n. (医院里推送病人用的)轮床/spread out v.展开/plop vi.扑通落下/recoil vi.退却 畏缩 弹回

Monica: Sorry. So how’s it going with Joey?

Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, “Bring me food.” Two is, “I’m with a girl, bring us food.” Three is, “I’m lost and I can’t find food.”

Monica: (pats on his shoulder)Oh, sweetie.Is there any food around here?

Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?

Monica: Yeah! She’s right in there! (Points to Phoebe’s room.)

Joey: Oh great. (Starts to go in.) (To Chandler) Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready!

[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is showing Rachel around the set.]

Joey: All right, and over there is Brady’s Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.

wind v.上发条 旋紧/unwind vt.展开 放松 伸直

Rachel: Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?

Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!

Rachel: Hey!

Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?

Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, y’know, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldn’t.

Joey: Why? (In Drake’s voice.) Why can’t the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?

Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isn’t that a line from the show?!

awestruck adj.敬畏的 肃然起敬的

Joey: Uh, yeah but uh, (In Drake’s voice) I may have said those things before but, I never truly meant them. Until now.

Rachel: That’s a line from the show too!

Joey: Okay, you watch too much TV.

Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, here’s the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)

freshly squeezed orange juice n.新鲜榨出来的橙汁

Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, there’s pulp in that. (Hands it back.)

pulp n.果肉

Chandler: Yeah?

Joey: I thought we talked about this. I don’t like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isn’t juice. All juice, okay?

Chandler: I’m sorry, I guess I just like the pulp.

Joey: Oh my God, I’m sorry, I’m being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.

Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.

iced tea n.冰红茶

Joey: (To Chandler) Iced tea.(gestures him to run right out and get it)

Chandler: Okay, anything for you sir?

Joey: (To Rachel) Did I not just tell him?

Rachel: (mouthing it to him) Yes, you did.

Joey: (To Chandler) Okay look, Chandler, if this (Motions back and forth indicating the arrangement.) you have got to listen! (Tugs on his ear.) (Chandler glares at him.) You’re gonna throw that juice at me, aren’t ya?

tug v.拖

tug on one’s ear

Chandler: It’s not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)

get out of the way v.让开 避开

[Scene: Ross and Carol’s, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]

Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.

Carol: Yeah! And maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.

Ross: Look Carol umm, I was, I was thinking maybe uh, maybe we can spice things up a little.

Carol: What do you mean?

Ross: Carol our sex life is—it’s just not working…

Ben: (entering) Dad!! (Runs and hugs him.)

Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why don’t we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why don’t you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!

Ben: Yay! (Runs off.)

Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life… I was thinking, maybe I don’t know, we could try some-some new things. Y’know? For fun?

Carol: Like what?

Ross: Well I don’t know umm, (Pause) what if we were to tie each other up? (Carol’s shocked and obviously doesn’t like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesn’t like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, y’know we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.

one another adv.相互 彼此(=each other)

Carol: (quickly) I love that idea!

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Monica is eating breakfast as Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Who sold a story to Archie Comics?!

Monica: Oh my God! That’s great! Oh wow! (Hugs him.) You’re a published writer! I wish I had a present for you!

published writer n.有出版著作的作家

Chandler: Aww.

Monica: Wait a minute! (Quickly checks her pockets and pulls out…) My last Kit-Kat bar!

(Chandler tries to take it, but Monica won’t let go. He tugs harder, and she still doesn’t budge.)

budge v.推动 移动 让步

Chandler: You wanna share it?

Monica: Okay!!

Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know you’re mad, but I just want to say I’m sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Y’know? I mean, y’know how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?

mayonnaise n.蛋黄酱

Monica: It’s not mayonnaise!!

Joey: Yeah, o-o-o-o-okay anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Here. (Hands him a cup.)

Chandler: What’s this?

Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.

Chandler: Aww, thanks man. (They hug.)

Monica: Hey Joey,(They shush her to be silent) Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics!

Joey: Oh my God! That’s great! Congratulations! What’s the story?!

Chandler: Oh you wouldn’t uh, care. It’s just a stupid comic book story.

Joey: Are you kidding me?! I love Archie! And the whole gang!

Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesn’t want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assist—as his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that can’t have lumps in‘em.

jalopy <口>老爷车/butler n.男管家/milkshake n. 泡沫牛奶(牛奶、冰淇淋等混搅起泡的饮料) 奶昔/lump n.方(糖)/Archie,Reggie:这仍然是郇可奇漫画》里面的两个人物,里吉(Reggie)是一个有钱人,阿奇则是漫画的主人公。钱德勒为《阿奇漫画》编的故事是:阿奇为了修他那辆破摩托车,被里吉雇佣当个人助理。

jalopy

milkshake

Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one?‘Cause I think I read it!

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]

Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?

Monica: Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot!

Rachel: Ohh! And I’m one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!

Monica: You don’t have to use his last name.

Rachel: But, Monica, come on, it’s Joey Tribbiani.

Monica: I guess you have to.

Monica: Well, y’know it’s none of my business, but aren’t you married?

Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Y’know I just wish we could be like on a break(‘on a break’may be one of the most sensitive words in this sitcom to remind you of a huge amount of things)!

Monica: Well, you’re not.

Rachel: Oh, it’s so easy for you I mean, you’re not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!

Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And don’t think I don’t, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)

You betcha 或You betcher 直译是:你可用性命打赌.意思是 当然(行) ,等于强调的Yes [eg:Are you interested in outdoor activities?-You betcha]

Rachel: Monica. You’ve, you’ve done it right?

Monica: (giggles unnaturally) Of course I have! What do you think, I’m some 30 year old virgin?

some adj.(修饰名词的单数形式)某一 某个

Rachel: Oh my God! You’re a 30 year old virgin!

Monica: Say it louder, I don’t think the guy all the way in the back heard you!

Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.

Monica: It’s not like, I haven’t any opportunities. I mean, y’know, I’m just waiting for the perfect guy. I’m seeing this guy Roger, all right? He’s not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Y’know, give him my flower.

Rachel: Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, you’ve waited long enough!!

Monica: Y’know what? You are right?!

Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldn’t be all this rules and restrictions! Y’know, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever…

Monica: Rachel! I’m never gonna think it’s okay for you to cheat on your husband!

Rachel: Oh what do you know? Virgin!

[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebe’s room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]

Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!

Phoebe: Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects.

side effect n.(药物等到的)副作用

Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!

Phoebe: No! It’s not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!

Monica: Put it out!!

Phoebe: Okay! Okay! (Puts it out and comes out of the bathroom.) I’m so glad you’re here.

Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it我来接.

Phoebe: Oh, give it to me.

Ross: I got it!

Phoebe: Give it!

(He does a kara-tay move to silence her, then answers the phone.)

Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she can’t come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)

Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?!

Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.

Phoebe: Thank God.

Ross: (To Monica) Yeah, she’s fired.

[Scene: Rachel and Barry’s bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course it’s a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. It’s set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]

在Friends剧中,Joey的事业一直和肥皂剧Days of Our Lives紧密相关。他在演出了这部肥皂剧以后,开始有了自己的影迷。虽然中间“死”了一次,但第二次出演,现在竟然有奖项提名他了(虽然是Sopie奖).那么,Days of Our Lives究竟是一部什么样的片子呢。Days of Our Lives并不是虚构出来的,这是美国最著名的肥皂剧集之一。自1965年开播以来,至今仍大受欢迎。在电影《律政俏佳人》里面,女主角就有一句台词说“昨天的Days of Our Lives你看了吗”,影片把每天收看DOOL当作区分时尚女性和”哈佛女生”的标志之一。巧的是,Friends中的时尚女性代表Rachel也是个肥皂剧迷,看看她在718和819中的表现就知道了。在715中客串的苏珊萨兰登从来没有在DOOL中出现过,这纯粹是虚构,但另外一个嘉宾可不是。在第718集,Joey获得了Sopie的提名,虽然没有得奖,但是最后顺走了同剧组的最佳女配角奖。客串那个被偷走奖的女演员的Alison Sweeney就是Days of Our Lives剧组目前的主要演员,至今已经出演了9年。但她在Friends中扮演的人并不是她自己,而是叫Jessica Ashley。在718中提名的其他肥皂剧,如General Hospital、Young and the Restless也都是真实的。另外还有一部All My Children也是在一直播放的,在219中,Gunther声称自己出演过这个片子,但比瑞摩瑞医生还倒霉–死于雪崩。

Nurse: You’ve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.

Dr. Wesley: Good-bye and God speed, Hope Brady.

God speed<口>Good Luck

(He goes to turn off a machine. Suddenly, Dr. Drake Remoray appears at the door with two cops!)

Dr. Drake Remoray: Not so fast Wesley! (Rachel does a little silent clap.)

Dr. Wesley: (with evil dripping off his tongue) Remoray!

Dr. Drake Remoray: That’s right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, you’re not a real doctor! And that woman’s brain, is fine!

Rachel: (very relived) Oh! Thank God!

[Cut back to the TV, the cops are leading Dr. Wesley out, and as they pass Remoray and Wesley exchange evil glances.]

exchange glances v.互相使眼色

Dr. Drake Remoray: Hope! Hope!

Hope: (sleepily) Drake!

sleepily adv.困倦地

Dr. Drake Remoray: You’re not dying Hope, you’re gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.

Hope: Oh Drake.

[Drake and Hope kiss.]

Rachel: Okay! (She picks up the phone, Joey’s phone number, and starts to dial.) Here we go! Okay! (On phone.) Hi, Joey! It’s Rachel! Umm, I am free tomorrow night. Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches.

Commercial Break

{Transcriber’s Note: This is where Part II begins, which means this is now episode 616.}

[Scene: Ross and Carol’s, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]

Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find…

Carol: Ooh, actually I’ve been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!

be into<口>给对…深感兴趣

Ross: Oh. (He takes the notepad she was using and looks at it.) Wow! (Flips to another page.) Huh. (Flips another page.) Boy! (Flips another page.) Well, someone’s been doing their homework. (Flips two more pages.)

Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so…

Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Y’know, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda…

Carol: Oh, me too.

Ross: Yeah? Well, I-I think Ben’s asleep.

Carol: Oh umm, y’know I think it would be better if we just save it.

Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. (Gets up and does a little kara-tay.)

[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe]

Phoebe: Why do you always wear that dumb hat? What do you late for your paper route? ‘Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Here’s your paper.I’m sorry about your window.Oh…’

Ross: (enters) Hey, Pheebs!

Phoebe: Hey.

Ross: Hey, how’s it going?

Phoebe: Well, I’ve got to get out of this bed, I’m going crazy here. Crazy!

Monica: (handing her a cup) Here you go sweetie.

Phoebe: What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!

Monica: But, I put some honey in it.

(Phoebe mocks what Monica just said. Ross pulls Chandler aside.)

Ross: She doesn’t know she was fired yet, does she?

Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.

Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!

Chandler: (To Ross) But I think we should tell her.

Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start thinking about getting a different job.

Phoebe: Okay, what is this? A stupid contest? Because we got a winner here! (Points at Ross.)

Chandler: Listen Phoebe, he’s right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.

Phoebe: I know! But if I didn’t work there, what else would I do?

Monica: Well, you used to like playing the guitar.

Phoebe: Yeah that was lucrative! Smart like your brother!

lucrative a. 赚钱的 有利可图的

Chandler: Uh, what about y’know the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.

Phoebe: Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump change—ooh, what do I do?! What will I do?!

pull in<俚>吸入 拿(薪水)/chump <口>木头人 傻瓜/chump change<俚> An insignificant amount of money. Money that can be easily disposed with.

[Scene: Joey’s apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]

Rachel: Ohh, I mean it’s just so realistic!

realistic adj.逼真的

Joey: I know. (Joey is sitting in this tall chair that is made up of balls on polls. You’ll have to see it to know what I mean.) Yeah, his name is Pat.

Rachel: Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! (Laughs and finishes her drink.)

Joey: (climbing down from his chair) Do you uh, do you—ready for a refill?

refill v.再次斟满 续杯

Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldn’t—so I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! It’s like it’s raining!

Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if you’re thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldn’t get sucked up into the mechanism, well you’d be wrong.

get sucked up into v.被吸入/mechanism n.机械装置

Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?

Joey: It’s uh, right through there. (Points.)

Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God y’know, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani’s apartment…

Joey: Yeah, life’s pretty great isn’t it?

Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Monica is pouring wine for her boyfriend, Dr. Roger.]

Monica: I hope you’re hungry, we’re starting with oysters. And y’know what they say about oysters, don’t you?

The name oyster is used for a number of different groups of mollusks(n.软体动物) which grow for the most part(adv.在很大程度上 对大多数而言) in marine or brackish(adj.有盐味的) water. The shell, usually highly calcified(v.钙化), surrounds a soft body. Gills(n.鳃) filter plankton(n.浮游生物) from the water, and strong adductor(n.内收肌) muscles are used to hold the shell closed. Some of these groups are highly prized as food, both raw and cooked <动>牡蛎 蚝

Dr. Roger: They have parasites?

parasite n.寄生虫

Monica: No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are aphrodisiac.

aphrodisiac a.激发性欲的n.春药

Dr. Roger: What people?

Monica: People! People say it! Come here! (She grabs him and kisses him.)

Dr. Roger: So oysters, huh?

Monica: And then we’re gonna have a little Middle Eastern cous-cous. Something we can eat, with our hands.

Couscous n. 蒸粗麦粉

Dr. Roger: Y’know, it’s funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases…

communicable disease n.传染性疾病

Monica: No-no-no, no! It’s sensual!

sensual adj.肉欲的 色情的 声色犬马的

Dr. Roger: Ohh! Didn’t know! Okay!

Monica: Okay! (They kiss again and his beeper goes off.) Ohhh no!

Dr. Roger: I’m sorry sweetie, it’s the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some?

Monica: I can’t promise anything. (She starts to dig in.)

[Scene: Ross and Carol’s, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]

Ross: We’re really gonna do this, huh?

Carol: Looks like it.

Ross: Y’know, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out any time… (A knock on the door interrupts him.)

Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!

Ross: Okay.

Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Who’d you think it was gonna be?)

Susan: Hey! (They hug.)

Carol: Thank you so much for coming.

Susan: Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world我无论如何也不会错过的.

(They start moving towards the bedroom, never taking their eyes off each other. They move past Ross and stop.)

Ross: I’m-I’m Ross by the way.

Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what you’ve done with this space.

Carol: Thank you so much.

(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susan’s coat.)

Ross: How hot is this?!

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Chandler and Monica are eating Monica’s dinner.]

Chandler: I’m sorry you’re here with me instead of Roger.

Monica: Yeah, me too.

Chandler: Well, I could make it seem like he’s here. (Imitates him.) “Here’s some little known facts about cous-cous. They didn’t add the second cous until 1979.” (Mumbles something further.)

Monica: Stop it!! That’s not funny!!

Chandler: Okay.

Monica: I’m sorry, okay? It just—tonight was supposed to be y’know, it was supposed to be a big deal.

Chandler: What was tonight?

Monica: You don’t want to know what tonight was.

Chandler: Okay. (Pause.) What was tonight?

Monica: Well, tonight was—was going to be my first time.

Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!

Monica: All right relax Mr. I’ve Had Sex Four Times!

Chandler: Four different women! I’ve had sex way more times!

Monica: How many?

Chandler: Nine.

Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.

Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?

Monica: No. He’s not a horrible guy.

Chandler: Hey that’s what I tell girls about me.

Monica: Chandler, I’m gonna die a virgin!

Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.

Monica: Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me?

Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)

Monica: I was kidding.

Chandler: So was I.

[Scene: Joey’s apartment, Rachel is now three sheets to the wind and Joey is watching her.]

three sheets to the wind <俚>Old sailing term. After setting all three main sails(n.主帆) to the wind, a ship will shudder(v.发颤) and roll, much like a stumbling drunk. Now used as a synonym(n.同义) for drunkenness酩酊大醉/sheet 的一个词义是“系在帆下角的金属环上的帆脚索”。如果帆脚索没有系扣住时,船帆可以任意随风飘扬。[查出来是<书>帆]船员们称之为 in the wind。A sheet in the wind由此成为船员们一句口头语言,表示 tipsy(adj.喝醉的,微醉的)Three sheets in the wind 自然是大醉特醉了。

Rachel: Joey, you’re such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?

leave off v.停止

Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own自掰.

Rachel: Wow! Tell me something Joey—(She falls off the couch)—Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there.

Joey: Yeah you did.

Rachel: Okay. (She climbs back onto the couch.)

Joey: Here you go. Let me ask you a question.

Rachel: Yeah?

Joey: When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?

Rachel: Wow! I can’t, I can’t feel my hands我手麻了.

Joey: Come, come here.

(He takes her hands in his and kisses each one, then kisses her on the lips. When they break the kiss, Rachel starts to get nauseous and maybe on the verge of throwing up. Joey backs away in horror.)

nauseous adj.作呕的

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, continued from earlier. Monica and Chandler are still discussing the previous question.]

Chandler: We can’t do this.

Monica: No! (They both laugh.) Oyster?

Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, y’know? Because you’ve been waiting a very long time and I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.

Monica: Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it to. So even if you’re horrible, how would I know?

Chandler: I do like that.

Monica: It’s harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!

Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?

Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)

Chandler: Stop it! We’re doing this! Let’s do it!

Monica: Noo!! Okay!!

Chandler: Okay! (They both get up.)

Monica: Umm, do you have any uhh, moves?

Chandler: I have some moves.

Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin’there?! (Giggles.) Oh y’know what? I’m sorry, this is just too weird.

Chandler: Yeah, let’s just forget it.

Monica: What if I turn out the lights? (Runs to shut them off.)

Chandler: Okay!

(She turns out the lights and in the darkened room Chandler starts to moan.)

Chandler: Oh yeah.

Monica: Chandler?

Chandler: (sexily) Yeah?

Monica: That’s the couch.

Chandler: I know.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica’s bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]

Chandler: Oh my God!

Monica: I know! I’ll tell you something, we are gonna do that again!

Chandler: Oh, okay! (He rolls over to do that again.)

roll over v.(睡时)翻身 反侧

[Scene: Joey’s apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]

Joey: (entering) Morning!

Rachel: (wakes up suddenly and realizes where she is) Oh right.

Joey: Yeah.

Rachel: (groans) Oh God. Oh I can’t believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!

Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.

Rachel: Noo! Oh God we did—we didn’t, we didn’t uhh…

Joey: No! No! No, not after seeing that.

Rachel: God I’m just a horrible person.

Joey: Wh-why?

Rachel: Because I’m married. That’s right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV star’s apartment to have an affair! Uck!

have an affair v.搞外遇

Joey: That’s ridiculous! I’m not a “Star,” just a regular famous actor.

Rachel: Yeah and I’m a horrible, horrible person.

Joey: Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me…

Rachel: The ring from the cave, yeah.

Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh… (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)

Rachel: (seeing the ring and gasping) Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!

Joey: Sure! As long as they don’t find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.

Rachel: No! No-no-no…

Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, you’ve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didn’t. And that’s what this ring stands for.

Rachel: But I thought that ring stood for Caprice’s undying love for her brother.

undying adj.永恒的 不朽的

Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!

Rachel: Yeah!

[Scene: Phoebe’s hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]

Ross: Hey!

Joey: Hey!

Ross: Look at you! You’re up!

Joey: All right!

Phoebe: I thought I’d try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? I’ll be back soon.

Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You’re not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?

Phoebe: No. I’ve learned my lesson.

(She goes out into the hall and when she’s there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)

Phoebe: Let’s go! Come on! Move it! (Grabs her coat.) Come on! (To an old man who’s holding her shoes and briefcase.) Shoes! Briefcase! (Takes them both.) Thanks Lou, good luck with the gall bladder. (She leaves.)

gall bladder n.<解>胆囊 苦胆/gall n.胆汁/bladder n.膀胱 球胆

[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]

Ross: Hey Joe did… Did you ever have a threesome?

Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carol’s great and I’m sure you’re a very attractive man, but I….

Ross: No! The reason I’m asking is that… I sorta had one last night.

Joey: You?

Ross: Yeah!

Joey: Wow!

Ross: Yeah!

Joey: All right! So, was it amazing?

Ross: It was, it was okay.

Joey: Just okay—Did you do it right?!

Ross: Look, it’s just did, did you ever go to a party and think, “Would really anyone miss me if I weren’t here?”

Joey: Huh. But still Ross, your worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Y’know what I mean?

Ross: Oh-oh, absolutely!

(They both laugh.)

Ross: It’s just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.

wait around v.呆呆地等 空等

Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?

Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.

Joey: Not the other one?

Ross: No, she kept kicking me away!

Joey: Yeah, you don’t want that.

Ross: No!

Joey: Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right?

Ross: Oh I saw a lot of stuff!

Joey: You got a little bored?

Ross: A little. Yeah. I made a snack弄了点吃的.

Joey: Yeah? What did ya have?

Ross: Just a sandwich. Turkey, a little mustard…

mustard n.芥末

Joey: Sounds good.

Ross: It really was!

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Monica is making a sandwich as Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Hey!

Monica: Hey!

Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!

Monica: Hey, check me out, I’m a slut!

Chandler: So you uh, want to do something tonight?

Monica: Oh I can’t. Dr. Roger is coming over again.

Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because you’re still seeing him and uh, he’s a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when… (He fakes snoring when Dr.Roger fell asleep.)

Monica: Are you okay?

Chandler: Yeah! Totally! Totally, and you?

Monica: Great! It’s so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you I’m all like, “Can the doctor see me now?”

Chandler: I bet he can.

Monica: Y’know, I don’t have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure you’re okay?

physical <口>身体检查[eg: The doctor gave me a physical this morning.]/halfheartedly adv.毫无兴趣地

Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)

[Scene: Rachel and Barry’s bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]

Rachel: Ohh! My God! Barry!!

Barry: You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend!

Rachel: Oh that’s right! I’m sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!

[Scene: Phoebe’s office, she is arriving without the knowledge that she’s been fired.]

without the knowledge that对…完全不知情

Phoebe: Surprise! Look who’s back!

Arthur: Hey Pheebs!

Phoebe: Hey!

Arthur: (To another coworker) Call security. (To Phoebe) Pheebs, didn’t you get fired?

Phoebe: Uh, I don’t think so!

Jack: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Jack!! Hey!

Jack: What are you doing here?

Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?

clown n.粗鲁愚蠢的人

Jack: Well, you were fired.

Phoebe: Nu-uh!

Jack: I told that guy who answered your phone.

Phoebe: Oh, okay I didn’t get that message. So this doesn’t count—Anyway, I’ll be in my office.

Jack: Uh, Phoebe you-you don’t have an office.

Phoebe: That’s all right, I’ll work here. This is good, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)

Jack: (approaches her) Phoebe, listen…

Phoebe: You’re in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake…

peso n.比索(中南美及菲律宾货币单位)/ruble n. 卢布(前苏联货币单位)

Jack: You lost 13 million dollars.

Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Y’know it’s bad enough that—Ow! Oh, you have got to be kidding!

Jack: Are you all right?

Phoebe: I’m having another heart attack!

Jack: What?!

Phoebe: I’m having another heart attack!! Call 9-1-1!!

Jack: Take it easy. (Sits her down.)

Phoebe: (to Arthur, he’s the guy calling 9-1-1) Dumbass!

Woman: Hey Pheebs! How’s it going?!

Phoebe: Well, they fired me and I’m having heart attack.

Woman: Wow! Well, welcome back!

Phoebe: Yeah.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]

Rachel: Hi Ross!

Ross: Hey Rachel.

Rachel: Is Joey Tribbiani here?

Ross: Umm, no.

Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that I’m looking for him and that this time I am not gonna throw up!

Ross: That-that’s always good news. Are you okay?

Rachel: Me? I’m great! I’m fine! I’m sooo good!! But, you know who’s not great?! Men! You’re a man right Ross?!

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Sit down!

Ross: Okay. (He does so.)

Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you we’re going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbor’s dog walker?!

wedding vow n.婚礼上的誓言/squat<俚> nothing or not meaning anything[eg:That doesn’t mean squat]/dog walker n.溜狗者

Ross: We’re sorry.

Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?

sanctity n.圣洁

Ross: Didn’t you spend last night at Joey’s?

Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?

Ross: Look I-I don’t know what’s going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.

Rachel: Oh. (Doesn’t believe it.)

Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!

stand by v.站在一旁

Rachel: Who are these men?

Ross: Men. A guy I know.

Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.

Ross: She is not… (Realizes) She’s gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I can’t believe this.

Rachel: Good day for married people huh?

Ross: I’m sorry your husband cheated on you.

Rachel: I’m sorry your wife is gay. I guess women aren’t that great either, huh?

Ross: Try telling my wife that.

[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]

Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?

Monica: Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.

Chandler: Yeah I know, guess who beeped him?

Monica: What?!

Chandler: I’m the ruptured spleen. (Laughs.)

rupture v.破裂 裂开/spleen n.脾

Monica: Why would you do that?

Chandler: Because you shouldn’t be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.

Monica: Really?

Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they don’t just happen. Y’know? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning y’know I was just lying there and I couldn’t wait to just go hanging out with my friends, but with you I always y’know already with a friend.

Monica: Chandler!

Chandler: I know you probably don’t want to go out with me, y’know because I make too many jokes and I’ve never been in a serious relationship and I guess I’m not technically a “doctor”

(Monica runs over and kisses him.)

Monica: There was just one woman, wasn’t there?

Chandler: No, there were two.

Monica: Including me?

Chandler: Oh yeah.

Ending Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]

Phoebe: (singing)

It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see…
One of them won’t do it, but the second one will set you free…
Tell all your hate and anger, it’s time to say good-bye…
And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die!
La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la……

End

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