The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry

2009年10月10日

The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry


Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen

614 钱德哭不出来

瑞秋难以接受罗斯同吉儿来往,要求两人分手。

吉儿大为不爽,为报复瑞秋,色诱罗斯。

钱德看悲剧电影也哭不出来……莫妮卡列举诸多悲惨的状况,钱德照旧掉不下一滴眼泪。

大伙发现乌苏拉在以菲比的名义拍三级片。

6.14 The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry

Unable to handle the idea of Ross and Jill together, Rachel asks Ross to stop seeing Jill.

Jill is upset and throws herself at Ross, attempting to use him to get back at Rachel.

Chandler doesn’t cry in sad movies… or for any other reason.

The gang discovers that Ursula is making porn movies in Phoebe’s name.


[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]

Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh… Oh wait, I don’t have to lie to you, you don’t live here anymore. Uh, I’m eating their food. What are you doing?

Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.

Joey: Whoa, I didn’t know we could date your sister!

(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)

potato chips n.土豆片

Monica: Joey we know you steal our food.

(Joey offers them some potato chips.)

Chandler: I’m good不用了.

Monica: (To Rachel) Oh, are the drapes still closed honey?

Rachel: Yeah. And y’know who should’ve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.

perverted:deviating(v.偏离) from what is considered right and correct 反常的 不正常的

Chandler: (looking) Is that a swing?

swing<俚>To have open, promiscuity with a select group of partners, who “swing” eachother’s wives and girlfriends back and forth to other people 乱搞性关系 交换性伴侣 群交

Rachel: Oh don’t even ask!

Chandler: Yuck!

yuck int. 啐(表示反感 讨厌 不快的拟声)

Joey: I can’t believe Ross is going out with Rachel’s sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.

Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.

Joey: Yeah you got 5 years left!

Chandler: Joey…

Joey: You wanna make it 6?!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. It’s the next day.]

Rachel: Oh Ross, hi! Hey, how are ya? There you are!

Ross: Hey!

Rachel: (to Gunther) Can I get a cup of coffee? (To Ross) So how was your big date last night?

Ross: Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.

Rachel: Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off?

hit it off <口>合得来 来电

Ross: I guess so.

Rachel: So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes!

Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.

slide n.(显微镜用)载玻片 载片 幻灯片

Rachel: Oh, slides. (Laughs.) So really nothing happened.

Ross: Something could’ve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.

dig <俚>懂 喜欢[eg: I dig rock and roll music]/vibe:A distinctive emotional atmosphere; sensed intuitively.气氛 氛围

Rachel: Right. Was it the, “Please don’t show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?”

trilobite n.<古生>三叶虫

Ross: I’m telling you, she was into me, okay? Hey, you remembered trilobite. Anyway, if she, if she wasn’t into me, why-why would she ask me out again?

Rachel: She asked-asked you out again?

Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.

Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just can’t. It’s just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I can’t do it! I can’t do it.

go with <口>接受 认同

Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! It’s okay. (Rachel stops.) It’s okay. Hey, it’s too weird for you, I won’t see her again.

rant n.咆哮 激昂的演说

Rachel: Thank you. I…yeah.

Ross: I mean after tomorrow night.

Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I can’t! I can’t do it! (Starts to freak out.) It’s just gonna freak me out!!!

Ross: Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! I’ll-I’ll tell her tonight I can’t see her anymore.

Rachel: Ross thanks.

Ross: You want me to call her right now?

Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on that’s-that’s crazy—I mean that’s crazy. So what’s-what’s going on with you? What is going on with you近况如何?

Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!

Rachel: Yeah do it now, call right now.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial(adj.地球之外的) is a 1982 science fiction film co-produced[v.合拍(电影)] and directed by Steven Spielberg, written by Melissa Mathison and starring Henry Thomas, Robert MacNaughton, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote. It tells the story of Elliott (played by Thomas), a lonely boy who befriends(v.帮助 待人如友) a friendly alien, dubbed E.T., who is stranded(adj.束手无策的) on Earth. Elliott, and his siblings help the alien return home, while attempting to keep it hidden from their mother and the government.The concept for E.T. came from an imaginary friend Spielberg created after his parents’ divorce. When work on Night Skies stalled(v.停止 延迟), Spielberg met screenwriter(n.电影剧本作家) Melissa Mathison, whom he hired to pen the script for E.T. The film was shot from September to December 1981 in California on a budget of $10.5 million. To facilitate(v.促进 推动) convincing emotional performances from the young cast, the film was shot in roughly chronological order(年月日次序).The film was an enormous box office hit, surpassing Star Wars to become the most financially successful film released to that point. Critics acclaimed(vt.称赞) it as a timeless(adj.永恒的) story of friendship, and it is considered one of the greatest films ever made. The alien became the subject of analogies for Jesus. The film was rereleased in 1985 and 2002, with altered special effects(n.特技 特效) and additional scenes for the 2002 version. Spielberg believes it epitomizes(v.象征) his work.

Monica: (crying) This is my favorite part.

Phoebe: (crying) Me too.

(We see the TV and it’s the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)

Joey: I don’t know what you guys are so sad about. It all works out. E.T. stays with Elliott, and they get to hang out and be best friends like forever.

ChandlerJoey,You’ve seen this movie before, E.T. goes back home.

Joey: What? (not sure of what to say)Oh, no, I forgot (grabs a tissue)

Phoebe: Oh y’know what’s sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.

Bambi :莫尼卡和菲比在看《外星人ET》的最后场景,两人都哭了,但钱德勒无动于衷。菲比说,她知道一本比这个更悲伤的电影,那就是《小鹿班比》,她为此哭泣了两整天。这是迪斯尼1942年出品的一本动画片,描绘了小鹿班比在林中长大的故事,是迪斯尼动画的经典。但剧中有一个情节是班比的母亲被猎人杀害了,乔伊觉得这很感人,但钱德勒仍然无动于衷/ Bambi is a 1942 animated feature produced by Walt Disney and originally released to theatres by RKO Radio Pictures on August 13, 1942. The fifth animated feature in the Disney animated features canon, the film is based on the 1923 book Bambi, A Life in the Woods(n.森林) by Austrian(adj.奥地利的) author Felix Salten. The main characters are Bambi, the young prince of the forest, his parents (the Great Prince of the forest and his unnamed mother), and his friends Thumper (a white nosed rabbit), Flower (a skunk[n. 臭鼬]), and his childhood friend and future mate, Faline (also a white-tailed deer[n.白尾鹿]). For the movie, Disney took the liberty of changing Bambi’s species into a White-tailed deer to visually emphasize him against the colored(adj.有色的) backgrounds, since he is a Roe Deer in the book.

Chandler: (totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!

cry over v.为…而哭泣

Joey: (crying) You didn’t cry when Bambi’s mother died?

Chandler: Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer! If this movie’s making you guys cry so much, let’s just change the channel.

Monica: OK

Joey:OK

Chandler: There.Joey, you’re crying over a Doritos commercial.

Doritos:多力多滋,三角造型玉米脆片,是一种薯片式的膨化食品

Joey:I was up for that part.

Monica: Chandler there’s nothing wrong with crying! I mean you don’t have to be so macho all the time.

macho adj.<西>男子气的 大男子气概的

Chandler: I’m not macho.

Monica: Yeah you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Chandler: No, I guess I just never really cried. Y’know? I’m not a crying kind of guy.

Joey: Come on man there’s gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?

Chandler: I’d be sad sure, but I wouldn’t cry.

Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, “Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me.”

pick on v.作弄

Chandler: Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, I’m rich!

Monica: Oh, I’ve got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the drawerunderneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!

(Chandler starts paging through the album.)

Phoebe: All right, what’s going on there? (Points to a picture.)

Chandler: Oh, that’s Parent’s Day, first grade. That’s me with the janitor Martin.

janitor n.门警 看门人/Parents’ Day is a holiday similar to a combination of Father’s Day and Mother’s Day.In the United States, Parents’ Day is held on the fourth Sunday of every July. This was established in 1994 when President Bill Clinton signed a Congressional Resolution(n.国会决议) into law (36 U.S.C. § 135) for “recognizing, uplifting(v.提升), and supporting the role of parents in the rearing of children.”

Monica: Where were your parents?

Chandler: Oh they didn’t want to come!

Phoebe: Oh Chandler!

Monica: Poor thing!

Phoebe: So that story doesn’t make you cry?

Chandler: No! Look, I don’t cry! It’s not a big deal! Okay?!

Joey: No! It’s not okay! It’s not okay at all!! You’re dead inside!!

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]

The Fan: Excuse me.

Phoebe: Yeah?

The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?

Phoebe: Yeah.

The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, I’m your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)

autograph n.亲笔签名

Phoebe: Oh you’re my biggest fan? I’ve always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)

The Fan: Wow! Wow, thanks a lot! I just wanna say, I think you’re really talented.

Phoebe: You’re just saying that because you’re my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) He’s a fan. (To the fan as she’s leaving) Bye! (Exits)

Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?

The Fan: I have no idea what you’re talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffay’s autograph!

Joey: Oh, you’re Phoebe’s fan!

The Fan: Oh yeah! I’ve seen all her movies.

Joey: Movies?

The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.

Joey: (laughs) I don’t think so.

The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store aren’t gonna believe this! (Exits.)

comic book n. 连环漫画册/Sex Toy Story2,Lawrence of Alabia,Inspecther Gadget, Buffay:菲比的双胞胎姐姐厄苏拉演起了三级片,还居然盗用了菲比的名字。这时剧中提到的一些片名都和著名电影或电视剧集的片名有点类似:《性玩具故事2(Sex Toy Story 2)》显然是模仿《玩具总动员2(Toy Story 2)》,《阿拉比亚的劳伦斯(Lawrence of Alabia)》显然是模仿《阿拉伯的劳伦斯(Lawrence of Arabia)》,《渗贪加吉特(Inspecther Gadget)》则是模仿《神贪加吉特(Inspector Gadget)》,这是迪斯尼的喜剧科幻电影/Toy Story 2 is a CGI animation film and the sequel to Toy Story, and the third Disney / Pixar feature film, which featured the adventures of a group of toys that come to life when humans are not around to see them. Like the first film, Toy Story 2 was produced by Pixar Animation Studios, directed by John Lasseter, Lee Unkrich and Ash Brannon, and released by Walt Disney Pictures and Buena Vista Distribution in the United States on November 19, 1999, in Australia on December 2, 1999 and the United Kingdom on 11 February 2000.The movie also keeps most of the original characters and voices from the first movie including the likes of(<口>象…这样的人)Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles, Jim Varney, Wallace Shawn and John Ratzenberger. They are joined by new members, voicing the new characters such as Joan Cusack, Kelsey Grammer and Estelle Harris.The movie is also the highest rated film on RottenTomatoes.com.

Lawrence of Arabia(n.阿拉伯半岛) is an award-winning 1962 film based on the life of T. E. Lawrence. The film stars Peter O’Toole in the title role. It was directed by David Lean and produced by Sam Spiegel, from a script by Robert Bolt and Michael Wilson (Lean and Spiegel had recently completed the acclaimed film, The Bridge on the River Kwai). It is widely considered one of the greatest and most influential films in the history of filmmaking. The dramatic score by Maurice Jarre, and Super Panavision 70 cinematography(n.电影艺术) by Freddie Young, are also hugely acclaimed.The film depicts Lawrence’s experiences in Arabia during World War I, in particular his attacks on Aqaba[亚喀巴[约旦西南部港市](临亚喀巴湾)] and Damascus[n.大马士革(叙利亚首都)] and his involvement in the Arab National Council. Its themes include Lawrence’s emotional struggles with violence in war (especially the conflicts between Arabic tribes and the slaughter of the Turkish army), his personal identity (“Who are you?” is a recurring line throughout the film), and his divided allegiance(n.忠诚) between his native Britain and its army, and his newfound comrades(n.同志 伙伴) within the Arabian desert tribes. The film is unusual in having no women in speaking roles.

Inspector Gadget is an animated television series about a clumsy(adj.笨拙的), absent-minded, and oblivious(adj.健忘的) detective, Inspector Gadget, who is a cyborg with various “gadgets” built into his anatomy(n.解剖). Gadget’s main nemesis(n.复仇者) is the mysterious Dr. Claw, leader of an evil organization known as MAD. This was the merchandising(n. 商品之广告推销 销售规划) company DiC Entertainment’s first syndicated cartoon show, and ran from 1983 to 1986 in syndication. This article pertains to the original cartoon series and its characters and plots; for information on its later spinoffs(n.续集), see Inspector Gadget spinoff incarnations(n.具人形化 真人版), Produced by DiC Entertainment, Millimages, Nelvana, ZDF, YTV, France 3 & France Animation in association with Caravan Pictures.The series was later adapted into a feature film of the same name, starring Matthew Broderick as the Inspector, and a direct-to-video sequel starring French Stewart.A spin-off, Gadget and the Gadgetinis, was first shown in 2001. In it Gadget was now a lieutenant(n.陆军中尉) and was assisted by a pair of bungling(adj. 搞糟的) robot look-a-likes.

Joey: Hey Gunther, don’t let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebe’s a porn star!

Gunther: Well, I wouldn’t call her a star, but she’s really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.

[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]

Jill: Hey!

Rachel: Hey!

Jill: You’ll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didn’t even tell me why!

blow off<俚>to cancel plans, dates or events 回绝

Rachel: Ohhh well. Y’know what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! He’s a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.

up-and-comer n.后起之秀 有进取心的人 有前途的人 明日之星

Jill: Maybe I talk too much, or maybe I should have been more aggressive sexually.

Rachel: Oh,no, no, no. No, that would never have worked on Ross. But you know who that might work on? Bob in Human Resources.

Jill: Y’know, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I’m not gonna date some random guy from your work.

random guy n.阿猫阿狗

Rachel: It’s not random, Bob.

Jill: It’s probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesn’t like the way I dress—No that can’t be it. It’s really gotta be the smart thing. Oh I’m so stupid! I’m just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!

Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.

Jill: You asked him to?!

Rachel: Hm-mmm.

Jill: Why?!

Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history…

Jill: I don’t understand, do you want to go out with Ross?

Rachel: No.

Jill: You don’t want him, but you don’t want me to have him?

Rachel: (changing the subject) Y’know Bob in Human Resources…

Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this to me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!

Rachel: Look, this is not that big a deal! You just don’t date Ross! There’s a million other guys out there, you just…

Jill: Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do.

Rachel: I’m not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!

Jill: Why are you always so jealous of me?

Rachel: Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you can’t have!

brat<俚>Derogatory term for a spoilt person乳臭未干的小孩

Jill: Can’t have?! Excuse me, the only thing I can’t have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)

dairy n.奶制品

Rachel: All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!

Jill: Who?!

Rachel: In Human Resources!!!!!!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]

rant v. 怒气冲冲地叫嚷(+about)[eg: The old man ranted that nobody paid any attention to his opinion]

Rachel: …I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!

Princess Caroline:瑞秋告诉妹妹吉尔是她要罗斯不要和你谈恋爱的,结果两人吵了一架。回来后瑞秋向莫尼卡等人诉苦。但瑞秋说:“吉尔以为她自己是谁?卡罗琳公主(Princess Caroline)?”卡罗琳公主是摩纳哥大公和王妃葛丽丝的女儿,曾经三次结婚,作风大胆时髦,瑞秋就这样嘲讽她的妹妹/ HRH Caroline Louise Marguerite, The Princess of Hanover, Hereditary Princess of Monaco[摩纳哥(欧洲西南部国家,位于法国东南,南临地中海)] (Caroline Louise Marguerite Prinzessin von Hannover, Erbprinzessin von[(=from of)(常加在姓前)] Monaco), formally styled Her Royal Highness[n.英皇族亲属间的称呼] The Princess of Hanover , (born 23 January 1957) is the eldest child of Prince Rainier III of Monaco and his wife, the former American film actress Grace Kelly. She has many relatives in the United States where her mother is originally from and when she was a child she would spend time at the home of her maternal grandparents in Philadelphia. Princess Caroline’s first husband was Philippe Junot (b. April 19, 1940 ), a Parisian banker.Her second husband was Stefano Casiraghi (September 8, 1960 – October 3, 1990), the sportsman heir to an Italian oil fortune.Her third and present husband is Ernst August V, Prince of Hanover,they married in 1999.Born Princess Caroline of Monaco and bearing the surname Grimaldi, she is the second wife of Ernst August, Prince of Hanover and, since her father’s death on 6 April 2005, is the heir presumptive(adj. 根据推定的) to the throne of Monaco. She also was heir presumptive(n.假定继承人) in 1957 and 1958, between her own birth and the birth of her brother, Albert, the current Sovereign Prince of Monaco. She also has a younger sister, Stéphanie

Monica: You’re jealous of Princess Caroline?

Rachel: Do I have my own castle?

(Joey and Ross enter.)

Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebe’s not here is she?

Rachel: No.

Monica: (noticing the bag Joey’s carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?

Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I don’t think it’s the kind you’re gonna like.

Chandler: You didn’t get more movies that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night did you?(what a pun it is!)

(Joey and Ross exchange looks.)

Joey: Sort of…

Monica: Guys, what’s going on?

Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebe’s a porn star!

All: What?!!

(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)

Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.

The Vampire Layer:《布菲之与吸血鬼共眠(Buffay:The Vampire Layer)》则显然模仿了《吸血鬼终结者巴菲(Buffy:The Vampire Slayer)》/Buffy the Vampire Slayer is an Emmy and Golden Globe-nominated American cult television series that initially aired from March 10, 1997 until May 20, 2003. It was created by writer-director Joss Whedon under his production tag, Mutant Enemy. The series narrative follows Buffy Anne Summers (played by Sarah Michelle Gellar), the latest in a line of young women chosen by fate to battle against vampires(n.吸血鬼), demons, and the forces of darkness. Like previous slayers, Buffy is aided by a Watcher, who guides and trains her. Unlike her predecessors(n.前辈), Buffy surrounds herself with a circle of loyal friends who become known as the “Scooby Gang.”The series usually reached between four and six million viewers on original airings.Although such ratings are lower than successful shows on the “big four” networks (ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox), they were a success for the relatively new and smaller The WB Television Network. Reviews(n.评论) for the show were overwhelmingly positive,and it was ranked #41 on the list of TV Guide’s 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. The WB network ceased operation on September 17, 2006 after airing an “homage”(n.致敬 尊敬 敬意) to their “most memorable series”, including the pilot episodes of Buffy and its spin-off, Angel.Buffy’s success has led to hundreds of tie-in(<美>周边产品的 搭卖的) products, including novels, comics, and video games. The series has received attention in fandom(n.影迷 运动迷), parody(n.拙劣的模仿), and academia(n.学术界), and has influenced the direction of other television series.

Rachel: Oh my God!

Monica: That’s Phoebe! Where did you get that?

Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.

Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didn’t know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)

Rachel: Wow! I mean, I just—I can’t, I can’t believe this. Y’know, I mean you think you know someone,even-even Phoebe who’s always been somewhat of a question mark.

somewhat of<口>有点 相当/question mark n.问号 谜团

Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, y’know she had such a terrible childhood.

bizarre adj.奇异的 异乎寻常的

Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don’t do porn.

Monica: Yes, but you are dead inside.

Joey: All right well, I’d better take that back.

Monica: Wh-what, why?

Joey: We can’t watch that! I mean that’s Phoebe!

Monica: Yeah you’re right, we can’t—we shouldn’t watch this.

Rachel: Absolutely not.

Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesn’t let him grab it) Y’know maybe a little bit!

Rachel: Probably just the first half.

Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebe’s our friend! Well, I’m not gonna watch it!

Ross: Yeah! Good for you Joe!

Joey: Yeah.

(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)

(The movie starts, it’s a vampire’s lair and Buffay, The Vampire Layer enters dressed in leather and carrying a wooden stake. Suddenly, the vampire opens his coffin and sits up.

lair n.窝

wooden stake

Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Ah, I thought I’d find you here, Nasforatool.

The Vampire: Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake into my dark places?

plunge v.使插入

Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around.

the other way around adv.从相反方向

(At this point, Buffay, the Vampire Layer and Nasforatool start to get it on. Of course, since this is network TV, we can only see the reactions of the gang to the film playing off screen.)

get it on<俚> a euphemism[<语法>委婉的说法] for sex, popularized by Marvin Gaye in his classic “Let’s Get It On”

Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?

Chandler: Her ankle is what you’re watching?

Rachel: Well it’s hard to tell… (Rachel gets up to get a closer look, only she’s having some trouble.) Oh God, if she would just stop moving她能不能不要动了.

Chandler: She’s just doing her job!

Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!

Rachel: Oh, it’s a tattoo! That’s weird, Phoebe doesn’t… Wait that’s Ursula! That’s not Phoebe that is Ursula!

(Upon hearing this, Joey can’t turn his chair around fast enough and knocks it over.)

knock over v.打翻

Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!

rewind v.(使)倒回

Phoebe: (entering) Hey! What’s up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]

Chicken Soup for the Soul is a series of books, usually featuring a collection of short, inspirational(adj.赋予灵感的) stories and motivational essays. The 101 stories in the first book of the series were compiled by motivational(adj.激发积极性的) speakers Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.There have been numerous volumes of Chicken Soup issued. As of January 2006, there were over 105 titles. Many of the books are directed at specific groups of people, e.g. Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul, Chicken Soup for the Preteen(n.青春期前的孩子 不满13岁的儿童) Soul, Chicken Soup for the Prisoner’s Soul, Chicken Soup for the Volunteer’s Soul, Chicken Soup for the Grandparent’s Soul, Chicken Soup for the Ocean Lover’s Soul, etc.The first book sold over 2 million copies and launched the series. There are now over 100 million copies in print and in 54 languages world-wide. The Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul series (there are over 14 titles) is one of the first series of non-fiction(n.非小说的散文文学) books which have sold directly to teens in the US, Canada, the UK and Australia.The series has spawned a number of imitators and parodies including Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian’s Soul, as well as a line of licensed products, including greeting cards, calendars, gift products, pet food, CDs, DVDs, and nutritional supplements.The name “Chicken Soup” was chosen for this series because of the use of chicken soup as a home remedy for the sick.The books are published by Health Communications, Inc.

Monica: Hey sweetie!

Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)

only conj.但是 可是

Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?

Chandler: There’s no back to this couch!

Monica: Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.

Chandler: Yeah I know, but I figured I’d give a shot y’know? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldn’t think I was y’know, all dead inside.

Monica: Oh that’s so sweet! Look Chandler I don’t care if you can’t cry, I love you.

Chandler: Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.

hollow tin

Monica: Stop it!

Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, we’re up at the altar and I’m like this. (Makes a bored face.)

Monica: I won’t care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)

Chandler: Yeah?

Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you don’t cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it won’t matter to me.

delivery room n.产房

Chandler: Okay, well I won’t uh, worry about this anymore then.

Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And you’re writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, “I will always be with you,” and you still can’t shed one tiny tear, I know you’ll be crying a river inside.

die from v.(病以外)因某事而死/eulogy n.颂词 悼词/shed v.流出

Chandler: Aww, I love you so…

Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!

Chandler: What?!

Monica: What?! You can’t shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!

beyond n.远处[eg: Young Columbus dreamed of crossing the ocean someday to the great beyond]

Chandler: So you didn’t mean any of that?!

Monica: No you robot!!

[Scene: Ross’s apartment, his doorbell is ringing and he’s running to answer it while doing up his pants.]

do up v.收拾齐整 拉校门

Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to… (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-that’s just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, they’ve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if they’re watching.) Uhh what’s-what’s-what’s the matter?

take a liking:to to begin to like, enjoy or appreciate开始喜欢 对…产生好感 喜欢上[eg:He never had taken much of a liking to cats他从来就不喜欢猫]

Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know we’re not supposed to see each other anymore and I’m okay with that, it’s just that I don’t know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.

Ross: Of course, what happened? (Lets her in.)

Jill: (entering) I don’t want to talk about it.

Ross: Okay, umm…

Jill: But you know what might really cheer me up?

Ross: What?

Jill: Seeing some more of your super-cool slides.

Ross: Wow! Really?!

Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.

Ross: Well, I’d love to! Here, you wait right here and I’ll go get the projector and my notes!

projector

Jill: Oh great! Thanks Ross, you’re such a good friend!

Ross: Ohh!

(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While he’s gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup).

[Cut to Monica and Chandler’s, Rachel is entering.]

Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I can’t find her anywhere.

Monica: No, I haven’t.

Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe I’ll just call him to see if he’s actually seen her.

(She goes to look out the window at Ross’s apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)

[Scene: Ursula’s apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]

Ursula: Who is it?

Phoebe: It’s Phoebe! Phoebe!

(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)

lingerie n.女用贴身内衣裤 女睡衣

Ursula: Hey!

Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so you’re making porn movies.

Ursula: No I’m not.

(Someone calls out from her apartment.)

Man’s Voice: We’re still rolling!

roll <口>拍摄

Phoebe: You’re making one right now!

Another Man’s Voice: Let’s go Phoebe!

Phoebe: And-and you’re using my name!

Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something有事吗?

Same Man’s Voice: Phoebe, come on!

Phoebe: Look, I’m talking right now! You’re—you mean her.

Ursula: Y’know, twin stuff is always a real big seller.

a real big seller n.一大卖点

Phoebe: What?!

Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.

talk into v.说服

Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! You’re disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)

[Scene: Ross’s apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]

Ross: Slides are almost ready.

Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!

Ross: Uh okay, well there’s-there’s wine in the kitchen.

Jill: Oh great! (Goes to get it as the phone rings.)

Ross: (answering it) Hello?

Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!

Ross: O-okay, Rach calm-calm down, okay? She-she’s really upset we’re just talking.

Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!

get back at<俚>实施报复

Ross: So that’s the only reason she could be here huh? It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe I’m a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!

listener n.聆听者/put on v.上演

Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!

Ross: Y’know what? I think I can take care of myself, I’ll talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that you’re just using me.

Jill: So? (Kisses him passionately.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Joey: Hey!

Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.

Joey: Oh no, not you too!

Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffay’s checks; there were a lot of them.

Joey: Nice!

Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I won’t have to go back there anymore because I gave them my “correct” address.

Joey: That’s great, but isn’t it gonna bother you that people still think you’re a porn star?

Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.

Joey: You do?

Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where he’s seen her before.) (To him) You’re trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, I’ll give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?

porno=porn

Joey: Yeah.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]

Chandler: Hey.

Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may’ve been right about Jill.

Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?

Ross: Umm, she kissed me.

Rachel: What?! You kissed!

Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.

Monica: (To Chandler) Shhhh!!!

Ross: Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay?

Rachel: Well, it doesn’t sound like it! I mean, it’s pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just don’t kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!

Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didn’t stop it. I guess I-I just wasn’t thinking…

Rachel: Yeah that’s right you weren’t thinking! Y’know what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)

Ross: Oh wait—hold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.

Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister’s mouth long enough to tell me that.

Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!

Rachel: What?!

Ross: No, I mean, look I don’t know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I don’t want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.

Rachel: Wow. I, I don’t even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)

Ross: You’re welcome. (Gently kicks her back.)

(Chandler starts crying.)

Monica: Oh my God! Are-are you crying?

Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just don’t see why those two can’t work things out!

Ending Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]

Jill: All right, I’m leaving! Because I’m not going to spend one more day with someone who’s out to sabotage my every move. That’s you Rachel!

sabotage vt.对…采取破坏行动 妨害

Rachel: Yeah, I got that.

Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?

Ross: You take care Jill.

take care v.保重 当心

Jill: Okay, I’m leaving. Don’t worry about me, I’ll make it on my own. Who knows how I’ll get by, or even if I’ll survive.

get by v.过活[eg: I can’t get by on such a small income]

Rachel: Jill, You can stop that now, I know you made up with Daddy.

make up with v.与…和好 讲和

Jill: You do? How?

Rachel:Oh, just a wild guess…and your limo just pulled up.

wild guess n.乱猜 瞎猜/limo n.(加长型)豪华轿车

limo

Jill: Sorry I didn’t get to know you guys better.

MonicaAbsolute shame真是遗憾.

shame n.憾事;倒霉的事[eg:It’s a shame I haven’t heard from you for years]

Jill: (happily) Okay, see ya! (Exits.)

Rachel: Bye-bye-e!

Monica: Bye.

Chandler: (starts crying) I-I can’t believe Jill’s gone. (They all look at him.) I can’t help it, I opened a gate.

End

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