The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance

2009年10月9日

The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance


Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen

604 乔伊没买保险

瑞秋收拾行李搬去罗斯的公寓。

一通罗斯的律师打来的电话,使瑞秋发现两人仍是夫妇。

菲比去算命,据说她一周内会死。

罗斯成为纽约大学的客座讲师。

他过于担心自己讲课时的临场表现,结果讲课时使用怪腔怪调的英国英语。

乔伊近来生意清淡,以至买不起医疗保险。

他联系代理人Estelle,请她安排一些试镜。

Estelle还以为他早跟别的代理人跑了呢。

试镜前,他染患严重的疝气,但因为没有医疗保险,他拒绝上医院。

6.04 The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance

Rachel packs her things and moves to Ross’s apartment.

Once there, she intercepts a phone call from Ross’s lawyer revealing they’re still married.

Phoebe’s psychic tells her she’s going to die this week.

Ross becomes a guest lecturer at NYU.

He’s so worried his presentation won’t go well that he panics and presents it with an phony English accent.

Joey’s medical benefits lapse because he hasn’t done enough acting recently.

He contacts his agent, Estelle (who mistakenly believes he’d gone to another agent), to arrange for some auditions.

He gets a severe hernia before auditioning, but refuses to go to the hospital until he has insurance again.


[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Ross’s. She’s standing in the kitchen.]

Rachel: Monica, which all of this kitchen stuff is mine?

Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)

bottle opener

freezer door n.冰箱门

Rachel: And?

Monica: And it’s a magnet!

Rachel: Look at that!

Ross: How weird is that? Y’know? You’re moving in with me and have the one thing I don’t have. It’s like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.

in a way adv.在某种程度上/complete vt.使齐全 使完整

Rachel: What?!

Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!

matey <俚>A word often used by pirates to address friends, aquaintences

Phoebe: Ross, I know what you’re thinking.

Ross: What?

Phoebe: That she’s gonna move in with you and maybe then she’ll fall in love with you and then when she finds out you’re already married, she’ll just be happy. Y’know? You’re just, you’re very sad.

sad adj.悲哀的

Ross: Oh…my…God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!

Phoebe: What?!!

Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you you’re obsessed with her. It’s always, “Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?” “Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?” “When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?” You want her!

It all adds up <口>这倒说得通。这句话表示:为事物的结果找到合理的解释

Phoebe: No! (Ross’s phone rings.)

Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?

[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]

Monica: Hey Rach, aren’t these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?

candlestick n.烛台 蜡烛架

Rachel: No-no, I bought those.

Monica: Ohh! Right, I forgot.

Rachel: Yeah. (Rachel walks away.)

Monica: (under her breath) That you’re a liar. (Hides the candlesticks in a drawer.)

Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, that’s great! I’ll be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!

head n.系主任/Paleontology department n.古生物学系/New York University (NYU) is a private, nonsectarian(adj.无宗派的), coeducational(adj.男女合校的) institution in New York City. NYU’s main campus is situated in the Greenwich Village section of Manhattan. Founded in 1831, NYU is the largest private, non-profit(adj.非赢利的) institution of higher education(n.高等教育) in the United States (U.S.), with an enrollment(n.登记入学人数) of more than 40,000. NYU comprises 15 schools, colleges, and divisions, occupying six centers throughout Manhattan. NYU operates study abroad facilities in London, Paris, Florence, Prague, Madrid, Berlin, Accra[阿克拉(加纳的首都)], Shanghai and will have facilities in Singapore by fall 2007. Proposed sites are also being finalized(v.定案) in Latin America and the Persian Gulf Region and wider Middle East.

Monica: Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?

Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.

paper n.论文/sediment n.沉积物 沉淀/flow rate n.流速

Rachel: Well, who wouldn’t?!

Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean it’s temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? “Professor Geller.”

guest lecturer n.客座讲师/mailbox n.邮箱

Phoebe: Yeah, Professor and Mrs.

Rachel: And Mrs.?!

Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, y’know you and Ross are still married.

Rachel: What?!!

Phoebe: Just kidding!

Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)

Phoebe: (To Ross) Saved your ass救了你的狗命.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]

Chandler: Hey!

Phoebe: Hi.

Monica: Hey!

Chandler: Oh, what’s the matter?

Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?

psychic n.灵媒 巫师

Chandler: Yeah?

Phoebe: Well, she told me that I’m gonna die this week, so I’m kinda bummed about that我有点沮丧.

Chandler: What?!

Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys don’t know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.

Monica: Phoebe that’s crazy!

Joey: I can’t believe she would say that to you.

Rachel: Yeah honey you don’t believe her do you?

Phoebe: I don’t—she said y’know that I’d have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.

Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how you’re gonna go?

out of curiosity adv.出于好奇心

Phoebe: No, ‘cause she didn’t tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean I’ve only got a week left, y’know? I’ve really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)

Car and Driver is an American automotive enthusiast magazine. Its total circulation is 1.36 million.  It is owned by Hachette Filipacchi Magazines. Originally headquartered in New York City, the magazine has been based in Ann Arbor, Michigan since the late 1970s.

Ross: (entering) Hey everyone!

Chandler: Oh hi!

Ross: Hey uh, well, today’s my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?

(They pause to think about it.)

All: Oh that’d be great. Sure!

Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) “There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct…”

word for word adv.逐字地/concerning prep.关于

Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This what’s gonna kill me.

Ross: (continuing) “…subcategories. The first of these subcategories is…”

Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?

naked chicks

Ross: No! Why?

Joey: Well, I’ve just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didn’t have naked chicks on it.

Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) “There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into…”

Chandler: Why don’t you open with a joke?

open with v.以…开始

Ross: Open with a joke? It’s a university, not a comedy club!

A comedy club is a venue, typically a nightclub, where people watch or listen to performances, including stand-up comedians, improvisational(adj.即兴的) comedians, impersonators(n.模仿名人者), magicians, ventriloquists(口技表演者) and other comedy acts. The term “comedy club” usually refers to venues that feature standup comedy, as distinguished from improv theaters that host improv or sketch comedy and variety clubs that may also host musical acts.

Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! You’re not talking about Chuckles University?!

chuckle vi.吃吃的笑 咯咯叫/hold the phone<俚>Often used in an insulting way when an unintelligible comment has been made. Can however be used when you’ve missed some piece of information and need to be informed.[eg: Guy 1: So Cindy asked me what my job was after we did it, and I asked her why she was still here.Guy 2: Whoa, whoa, hold the phone, how’d you hook up with her?]

Ross: (gets up) Okay!

All: Ohh! We’re kidding! Oh, we’re kidding!

Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?

Ross: Thank you!

Rachel: Some uh, some visual aides.

visual aid n.直观教具

Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Y’know what’s a good visual aide?

Ross: Please don’t say naked chicks.

Joey: Why not?!

Ross: I-I-I don’t even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Y’know what? I’m just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.

Chandler: That’s the way I did it‘til I was 19. All right, 20. Twenty-three.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Joey is playing that string game with the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with the mail.]

A string figure is a design formed by manipulating string on, around, and using one’s fingers or sometimes between the fingers of multiple people. String figures may also involve the use of the mouth, wrist, and feet. They may consist of singular(adj.非凡的 异常的) images or be created and altered as a game or as part of a story involving various figures made in sequence(adv.挨次 顺次).Step 4 of “Cup and Saucer”String figures were widely studied by anthropologists(n.人类学家) from the 1880s through around 1900 , as they appear to have arisen independently as an entertainment pastime in many societies. Many figures were collected and described from Pacific Islanders, Inuit and other Native Americans. The first known book of the subject was String Figures and How to Make Them, by Caroline Furness Jayne. n.跳绷绷

Chandler: Hey.

Joey: Hey! Any good mail?

Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actor’s Guild.

guild n.行业协会/The Screen Actors Guild (SAG) is an American labor union representing over 120,000 film and television principal performers and background performers worldwide. According to SAG’s Mission Statement, the Guild seeks to: negotiate and enforce collective bargaining agreements that establish equitable(adj.公正的) levels of compensation, benefits, and working conditions for its performers; collect compensation for exploitation of recorded performances by its members, and provide protection against unauthorized use of those performances; and preserve and expand work opportunities for its members.

Joey: Ooh, it’s probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, I’m kinda….

residual a.残留的剩余的 n.(常复数)(电视节目 广告 影片等重播时付给演员 作者和导演的)重播费

Chandler: (opens and reads it) “Benefits lapsed.”

lapse vi.(权力等)终止 失效[eg:The lease has lapsed]

Joey: Hmm that’s weird. I don’t remember being in a movie called benefits lapsed.

Chandler: Okay, it’s not a check. They’re saying your health insurance expired because, you didn’t work enough last year.

health insurance n.健康保险/expire v.终止 期满

Joey: Let me see that!

Chandler: All right.

Joey: (reads it) Oh, I can’t believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, y’know? And it wouldn’t matter. Now I gotta be careful?!

Chandler: I’m sorry man, there’s never a good time to have to (pauses) stop catching on fire.

Joey: All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. I’m gonna go see my agent.

Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.

Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) …look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)

whiney adj.嘀咕不停的/headlong adv.头向前地 猛然地

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Rachel: Hey Pheebs, you’re still alive! How are you feeling?

Phoebe: Ugh, it’s so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could—(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)

groan vi.呻吟/hack vti.短促频繁地干咳/hang out v.挂出

Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?

Phoebe: I was preparing you for my—didn’t you think I was dead? Did that not come off?

come off v.实现 成为

Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought we’d lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?

lie down v.躺下(睡会)

Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, y’know if you can.

(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)

Rachel: Monica!

Monica: Hmm? (Rachel holds up the candlesticks.)

Rachel: Did-did you take these back?

Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.

Rachel: Oh yeah, they’re really great! Aren’t they?

Monica: I loved them!

Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)

我们较常用Nice try. 这样的说法来表示“你想得美”。大家不要光看字面上的Nice try. 好像在说别人“做得好”,实际上Nice try. 最常用来讽刺别人“你想得美”若有人想唬你去做一件很笨的事,你就可以说声Nice try.

Ross: (entering) Hello!

Monica: Hey!

Rachel: Hey!

Monica: How’d the lecture go?

Ross: It went great! And I didn’t need any jokes or naked chicks either!

Rachel: Wow, that’s great Ross, I’m sorry we weren’t more supportive before.

supportive a.支持的 支援的 赞助的

Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyone’s all, “Ross you have to be funny and sexy.” Well, I proved them wrong! And now, I’m gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.

material n.素材 资料/speak for itself v.不言而喻

Monica: That you’re not funny or sexy?

Ross: That’s right!

[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]

theatrical adj.剧场的 演剧的 戏剧的

Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen…

Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!

Joey: What are you talkin’about? I never left you! You’ve always been my agent!

Estelle: Really?!

Joey: Yeah!

Estelle: Oh well, no harm, no foul.

no harm, no foul是LA Lakers队的体育播音员“Chick Hearn”创造的NBA语言。表面意思是:“没有伤害,就不算犯规”。指篮球运动中轻微的身体接触,不能当作犯规。 这里Estelle以为Joey“抛弃”了她,就暗中捣鬼,把Joey的保险弄没了。当她知道是自己误会的时候,就说了这么句话为自己的行为开脱/no harm, no foul<俚>no problem, it’s cool.Usually used in response to(adv.响应 回应) someone’s apology to indicate acceptance.[eg:Hey,Sorry I insulted you earlier. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Response: no harm no foul buddy]/no harm no foul:there is no problem if no serious damage was done. In his excitement, he deleted all the files, but they were restored later from a backup copy — no harm, no foul. Etymology(语源): from the use of this phrase in basketball (= a sport) to say that if an action that is against the rules has no effect on the results of the game, there should be no foul (= punishment)

Joey: Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance.

Estelle: All right, first thing we gotta do, damage control.

Damage control:is the term used in the Merchant Marine[n.(一个国家的)商船 商船队), maritime(adj.海事的) industry and navies(n.海军) for the emergency control of situations that may hazard the sinking of the ship. The term is also used in project management and other contexts to describe the actions needed to deal with any problem that may jeopardize an endeavor.

Joey: Why?

Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad-mouthing you all over town.

bad-mouth vt.<美俚>恶意攻击(eg: Don’t bad-mouth the US.)

Joey: Bastard!

[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]

lecture hall n.讲演厅

Rachel: Well, we’re a little early, the lecture doesn’t end for 15 minutes.

Monica: Yeah, but y’know we could sneak in and watch.

Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! There’s some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.

Kappa Delta Kappa (KΔK) Sorority, also known as KDK, was created on November 22nd, 1938, at Ursinus College, in Collegeville, PA(=Pennsylvania). It is a sisterhood(n.妇女团体) of women who promote friendship, scholarship(n.学问 学识), and diversity within the Ursinus College community. Each sister is unique, but together, the sorority(n.妇女联谊会 女学生联谊会) stands unified. Each year, KDK welcomes a new group of interesting women to continue its legacy. Kappa Delta Kappa Sorority continually honors its commitment to community service, through toy and clothing drives, charity walks, and other assorted(adj.多样混合的) service activities.Purpose:Kappa Delta Kappa sorority shall establish a social organization for the members thereof(adv.在其中), to form a permanent society which will create a closer tie between the alumni(n.校友) and the undergraduate women, and to provide a group which will cooperate toward the advancement of Ursinus College.

(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)

Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when—(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.

igneous  <地>(指岩石)火成的/sedimentary adj. 沉积的 沉淀性的/consternation n.惊愕 恐怖 惊惶失措/bloody hell<俚> British term used to express anger, shock or suprise. Apparently translates into American as ‘Dirty Hell’.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and I’ll have my health insurance back in no time.

in no time adv.立刻

Chandler: That’s great, but shouldn’t you be on the toilet right now?

Joey: What?!

Chandler: What’s wrong with you?

Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven’t been able to stand up since. But um, I don’t think it’s anything serious.

blinding a. 使人眩目的 使人失去判断力的

lift weight v.举杠铃 举重

Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have to—you-you go to the doctor!

hernia n.<医>疝气 脱肠

Joey: No way!‘Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything it’s gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)

stick out v.伸出

Chandler: That’s a hernia.

Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!

work out v.健身 锻炼 训练

[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]

dismiss vt.下课

Monica: What the hell are you doing?!

Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.

Rachel: Yeah, and not a very good one.

Ross: Will you-will you please?

(Another professor walks down from the back of the lecture hall.)

The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, I’m a professor in the paleontology department here.

Ross: Oh.

The Professor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?

Ross: (in his British accent) I’m sorry, I’ve got plans with my sister.

Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her ‘R’)

Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?

Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I can’t?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O’the mornin’to ya laddies!

Top O’the mornin’to ya (=Top Of The Morning To You[A traditional (English) greeting])Irish slang for “good morning.” Usually spoken as the speaker opens a bottle of Killian’s. Pronounced with a hugely Irish accent that could choke(v.阻塞) a donkey./laddie <苏格兰>少年, 年青人,老弟(表示亲密的称呼)

Ross: Just please stop!

(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)

Rachel: (in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.

Bombay n.孟买(印度西部的一个邦 首府为孟买城)

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]

Chandler: Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!

cruller n.油炸小煎饼

Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides it’s getting darker and more painful, that means it’s healing.

healing adj.愈合的 复原的

Chandler: I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and let’s just get that thing…pushed back in.

loan v.借 借给

Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I don’t want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, I’m thinking I’ll probably start with that laser eye surgery too.

hang over v.笼罩(=haunt)

laser eye surgery

(Phoebe enters.)

Phoebe: Hey!

Chandler: Hey.

Joey: Hey!

Phoebe: What’s going on?

Chandler: Oh Joey’s got a really bad hernia, but that’s nothing,a little laser eye surgery won’t fix!

Joey: Look, I’m telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married…With Children always used to do.) it doesn’t hurt that bad.

Alphonse Hercules Bundy (born ca. 1948) is a fictional character from the U.S. television series Married… with Children, played by Ed O’Neill.

Married… with Children is an American sitcom about a dysfunctional(adj.功能紊乱的) family living in Chicago that was originally broadcast from 1987 to 1997. It was the first-ever prime time television series to air on the Fox Broadcasting Company, debuting on April 5, 1987, and airing its final first-run broadcast on June 9, 1997. The series was created by Michael G. Moye and Ron Leavitt. For its time, it pushed the envelop(v.竭尽所能) on various racy(adj.猥亵的) topics which garnered the fledgling(adj.初出茅庐的) FOX network a standing among the Big Three Television Networks (i.e., ABC, NBC and CBS). The show’s 262 episodes over 11 seasons make it the second-longest-lasting sitcom on the FOX network (second only to The Simpsons) and the network’s longest live-action sitcom. The theme song used for the show is “Love and Marriage” by Frank Sinatra.

Phoebe: Hey! Maybe you’ll die!

Joey: Sure, now I’m scared.

Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just don’t wait too long though, okay? ‘Cause I’m outta here sometime before Friday.

Joey: Yeah, but I don’t wanna die!

Phoebe: No-no, it’ll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!

Joey: Wait. Could I come back and haunt Monica and Rachel when they’re in the shower?

Chandler: That’s my girlfriend.

Joey: Hey, I’m dead!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Monica and Rachel are having a tug-of-war over the disputed candlesticks.]

tug-of-war n.拔河 激烈的竞争

Monica: Gimme ‘em!

Rachel: No! They are mine!

Monica: You stole them from me!

Rachel: You stole them from me!!

Monica: Gimme them!

(With one last mighty tug the combatants lose their grip and split, each holding one candlestick.)

mighty adj.有力的/combatant n.战士

Monica: You just wanna each take one?

Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.

Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?

Monica: Why don’t you call Mummy and Daddy?

Ross: I’m serious! Someone’s gonna find out that I’m fake and then they’re never gonna offer me a job.

Monica: Why don’t you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think you’re, y’know, that you’re adjusting to life in America.

phase out v.使逐步淘汰 逐渐停止/adjust to v.适应

Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean they’re probably not even listening to you!

Ross: They’re not listening to me?

Rachel: Of course they’re listening to you! Everybody listens to you.

Ross: Monica,you really think I should try this phasing out thing?

Monica: I think you look fine.

[Scene: Casting Director #1’s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]

Casting Director #1: Whenever you’re ready.

Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. “Hey, Timmy, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

gravely adv.沉重地 阴郁地

Casting Director #1: Hold it. I’m sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less…intense?

intense adj.强烈的 剧烈的 极度的

swing set

Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, I’ll just—hold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) “Hey Timmy, I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!

(Joey pulls his hand out and reverts back to intense pain.)

revert v.回复

[Scene: Casting Director #2’s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]

gratuitous a. 免费的 无偿的 无报酬的/placement n.放置 布置/Purina One:乔伊参加一次试镜,这是一则“普瑞纳一号(Purina One)”宠物食品的广告。普瑞纳是全球最大的宠物食品生产商,已经成为了宠物食品的代名词。它目前是雀巢集团旗下的公司。

Purina One Dog Chow

Joey: So that’s why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he won’t be able to pick it up.)

Casting Director #2: That’s where you pick up the bag.

Joey: Exactly.

Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.

Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didn’t get it, did I我没通过 对吗?

point to v.指向

Casting Director #2: No.

Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)

[Scene: Casting Director #3’s office, Joey is entering.]

Joey: Hi. I’m Joey Tribbiani; I’m here to audition for (Groans) man.

Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?

Joey: Yes!

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]

prank n.胡闹 恶作剧

Monica: Okay, come on, do it one more time!

Rachel: Really? Really?!

Monica: Yes!

Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) “Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, we’d like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Rachel: Hey!

Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, I’m not going die!

Rachel: Really?! How do you know?

Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She must’ve read the cards wrong!

Rachel: Oh, I’m sorry.

Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, let’s bake cookies!

[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]

Silvercup Studios is the largest film and television production facility in New York City. Located in the neighborhood of Long Island City, in the borough of Queens, the studio complex(n.联合体) has been operating since 1983 in the former Silvercup Bakery building. Currently, the studio is filming location of HBO’s The Sopranos(n.女高音) and NBC’s 30 Rock. The building also serves as a location for many magazine photo shoots and music video productions. The studio can be seen from the New York City Subway’s Queens-bound 7 Train just before the Queensboro Plaza stop.

Chandler: Listen, I’m really glad you got the part.

Joey: (barely audible through the pain) Thank you.

audible adj.听得见的

Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?

Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.

(Chandler steps away quickly.)

Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!

Joey: (to the director) Hiya!

Hiya int.你好!

The Director: Hey Joey, we’re ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex he’s going to be playing your son.

Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)

The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, “Take good care of your Momma son,” that’s your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, let’s do this.

cue n.暗示 提示

(Joey lies down on the gurney.)

gurney n. (医院里推送病人用的)轮床

A Crew Member: (with that board thingy) Scene 5, take 1.

take 1:第一遍拍摄

The Director: And Action!

Joey: “Take could care of your Momma son.” (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) “Take could care of your Momma son.” (Alex does nothing.) “Come on son! Your Momma’s good people!”

The Director: Cut! Alex, remember you’re supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?

Alex: Okay.

The Director: All right, from the top.

A Crew Member: Scene 5, take 2.

[Time lapse.]

A Crew Member: Take 36 is up!

The Director: All right! Let’s try this again! You ready Joe?

Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?

The Director: Uh sure.

Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)

The Director: Action!

Joey: (he stops screaming at action) “Take good care of your Momma son.” (Again Alex does nothing.)

The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)

(Chandler decides to help out.)

Chandler: I’m sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why don’t you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!

kiddo n.老兄

[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]

Rachel: (answering it) Hello?

Russell: (Ross’s divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?

Rachel: Uh no, he’s not. Can I take a message?

Russell: Yes, this is Russell, Ross’s divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I haven’t heard from him, I assume he’s decided to give the marriage a try.

Rachel: Ross got married again—Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!

[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Ross is trying to phase out his accent.]

Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)

initial error n.起始误差/carbon dating n.碳定年

A Student: What’s happening to your accent?

Ross: (British) Come again? What’s-what’s this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, I’m-I’m not English. I’m from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. I’m sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because I’m-I’m hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression…

nonsense n.胡说 废话

(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, she’s not in the best of moods having just found out Ross’s dirty little secret.)

burst through v.推开 拨开

Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!

Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!

Ending Credits

[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isn’t a long trip这并不难.) Because he’s made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since he’s re-established his health insurance.]

senseless adj.失去知觉的 不省人事的 无感觉的/miraculous adj.奇迹般的 惊人的

Phoebe: Have you really done this before?

Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, don’t hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)

hold back v.踌躇 犹豫/don vt.穿上 戴上

wooden baseball bat

Phoebe: Hey!

Joey: Hey-hey-hey!

Chandler: What are you doing?

Phoebe: We’re just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.

Chandler: Oh, all right.

(Decided that they are less than human不讲人性 as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)

golf club n.高尔夫球棍

frying pan n.煎锅 长柄平锅

within an inch of adv.差点/ within an inch of one’s life adv.差点丧命

End

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