The One With The Truth About London

2009年10月29日

The One With The Truth About London


Teleplay by: Zachary Rosenblatt
Story by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones
Directed by: David Schwimmer
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen

716 我知道你在伦敦干了什么

罗斯开会,瑞秋替他照看儿子班并教他恶作剧。

罗斯本来不赞成这个主意,但后来他反过来和班一道狂整瑞秋。

钱德和莫妮卡为婚礼挑选牧师,对候选人皆不满意,最后他们选中了乔伊;

乔伊在Internet网上领取牧师证。

菲比头疼,莫妮卡给她一些药;

菲比看了一下副作用,不禁杞人忧天。

谈起当初两人在伦敦“一夜定乾坤”时,钱德吃惊的发现,那天莫妮卡原本是要去勾搭乔伊!

菲比忍不住浮想联翩——如果乔伊和莫妮卡好上了,事情会是怎么样呢?

于是另一条故事发展线上演,莫妮卡煮了许多油炸食品,乔伊吃成胖子。

7.16 The One With The Truth About London

Rachel watches Ben while Ross has a meeting, and she teaches him all about practical jokes.

Ross doesn’t like it, but he eventually turns the tables(v.扭转局面 转败为胜) on Rachel.

Chandler and Monica try to find a minister for their wedding, but don’t like their options.

They decide to let Joey (who’s being ordained over the Internet) perform the ceremony.

Monica gives Phoebe some pills for her headache.

When Phoebe finds out about the possible side-effects, she fears the worst.

While discussing how they first got together in London, Chandler finds out that on the fateful(adj.重大的 决定性的) night when Monica first came to his hotel room, she had been planning to hook up with Joey.

Phoebe can’t help wondering what things would have been like if Joey and Monica ended up together, prompting an alternate-storyline(n.另一种可能替代的故事情节) flash-forward[n.(小说 电影等中的)提前叙述未来事件] of Monica cooking lots of fried food for a very fat Joey.


[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]

file vt.把…锉平 把…锉光[eg: I’ve filed the surface smooth]

Ross: Hi.

Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!

Ben: Hi.

Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.

Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.

(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)

Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joey’s special romance magazines in there?

Rachel: No. No.

Ross: (to Ben) Okay! All clear!

all clear <口>解除警报

Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!

Rachel: Ben, it’s Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.

Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?

Ben: Don’t talk to me now!

Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.

Ross: Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The dean’s office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour?

dean n.(大学)院长

Rachel: What-what about Monica?

Ross: Oh, she isn’t home.

Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?

Ross: Well, Ben would be there.

Rachel: Huh umm…

Ross: What’s the matter?

Rachel: Well that—y’know it’s just uh, I’ve never done that before. Me and him alone.

Ross: Rach, he’s not an ex-con.

ex-con<俚>ex-convict n.有前科的人

Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?

Ross: I don’t know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.

Rachel: Okay.

Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, I’m gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?

Rachel: Yeah I think so.

Ross: (To Rachel) I wasn’t talking to you.

Ben: I’ll be okay.

Ross: Okay, I’ll see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.

Ben: Bye dad.

Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh… (Silence) So this is fun, huh?

Ben: Not really.

Rachel: Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink?

Ben: Okay.

Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?

Ben: I’m not allowed to have soda.

soda n.碳酸饮料

Rachel: Okay. Well that’s pretty much all that we have—Oh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)

Virgin margarita <酒>圣洁玛格丽特(Virgin是调酒的一个系列 一般不含酒精 但仍有酒的味道)[味道很清 让人暑气全消失 是很赞的夏日饮品]

Ben: What’s a virgin?

Rachel: Water it is.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]

Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.

Chandler: You mean the spitter?

spitter n.吐唾沫的人

Monica: Come on! It wasn’t that bad!

Chandler: Easy for you to say; you’ll be wearing a veil.

Monica: All right, what about the third guy?

Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?

Monica: Can you blame him?

Chandler: Sorry, I just don’t like the idea of when I say, “I do,” he’s thinking, “Yeah, I’d do her too!”

Monica: Well then we still have a problem.

well then 那么

Chandler: Yeah!

Phoebe: (returning with Joey) With what?

Monica: Well, we’re trying to find someone to perform our wedding and they’re all either boring or annoying or y’know, can’t stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)

perform<宗>(牧师)宣布(新人)正式成为合法夫妻[eg:But Valentine continued to perform marriage ceremonies for young lovers in secret]

(Joey nods his approval.)

Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!

Monica: Phoebe, we’re getting married, married; not sixth grade married.

Phoebe: No! No! It’s-it’s uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!

ordain vt.任命…为牧师(或神父等) 授…以圣职[eg:She was ordained the first woman priest of her church]

Monica: Are you serious?

Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and it’s totally legal!

Joey: I call it!!

Phoebe: What?! No! It was my idea!

Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.

marry v.宣布…结婚

Joey: Does calling it not mean anything anymore?!

Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!

legitimate adj.合法的/clergy n.牧师 神职人员[eg: The king tried to weaken the power of the clergy]/saliva n. 唾液

Phoebe: Is that lemon poppy seed?

poppy n.<植>罂粟

lemon poppy seed n.柠檬罂粟子[通常作为muffin的作料]

GunterNo,You don’t want these. They’re stale.I’m leaving them outside for the pigeons.

stale adj.不新鲜的 腐坏的[eg: This bread is a little bit stale]

Joey: I call‘em!

[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]

be bored out of one’s mind 某人极其无聊

Rachel: Ben y’know when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time.‘Cause I was, I was your daddy’s girlfriend.

Ben: But you’re not anymore!

Rachel: No, I’m not.

Ben:‘Cause you guys were on a break.

Rachel: Hey! We were not on a—Okay. That’s fine! Fine. Y’know what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?

pitcher n.大水罐 水壶

a pitcher of margaritas

Ben: When’s my daddy coming back?

Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You don’t have to share stuff.

Ben: Sharing is good.

Rachel: Oh, you’re one of those. But y’know what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.

one of those<俚>Someone who is not similar to you

Ben: Really? Like how?

Rachel: Well y’know, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, we’d jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so they’d put salt on their cereal.

Ben: (laughs) That’s a good one.

Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?

Ben: Yeah, you’re funny.

Rachel: I’m funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, I’ve got a ton of these! Umm, oh hear—Do you want a good one? Here’s a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you can’t roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, they’re left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.

chin n.下巴

Ben: Can I do it to you?

Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-I’m funny Ben, but I’m not stupid. Okay?

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]

Joey: So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?

Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.

horny <美俗>好色的 <俚> Turned on immensely

Monica: We’re never gonna find anybody.

Joey: Well then let me do it!

Chandler: Joe…

Joey: No-no-no! Look, I’ve been thinking about it. I’m an actor right? So I won’t get nervous talking in front of people.

Monica: Joey look it’s really sweet…

Joey: No-no-no-no look no! I won’t spit, and I won’t stare at Monica’s breasts! Y’know? Everyone knows I’m an ass man!

ass man<俚>A Man obsessed with the female (or male if one is gay) buttocks

Monica: That is true.

Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it won’t be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. It’ll be me! And I swear I’ll do a really good job. Plus, y’know I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.

Chandler: (To Monica) Y’know, we haven’t found anybody else.

Monica: It might be kinda cool.

Joey: So I can do it?

Chandler: Yeah you can do it.

Joey: All right!!! Okay!! All right! Okay-okay, I gotta get started on my speech! Oh, wait a minute, Internet ministers can still have sex right?

Chandler: Yeah.

Joey: Okay.

(Phoebe enters slowly.)

Monica: Hey Pheebs, how’s it going?

Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!

Monica: Oh, I’m sorry. Can I get you something?

Phoebe: Oh my God, you’ve got to stop chattering!

chatter vi.喋喋不休 唠叨

Monica: Here, take a couple of these. (She gets up to grab a couple of pills.)

Phoebe: What is it?

Monica: It’s Hexadrin.

Phoebe: Oh no, I don’t believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (She’s pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)

forefinger n.食指/skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand n.虎口[民间医术常用掐虎口来治疗疼痛 头晕等症状]

Monica: Okay, while we’re waiting for these pills to kick in, I’m gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, I’m gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And I’m—Sit down—(She sits down on the couch)—gonna make you some tea. And then, I’m gonna rub your feet.

kick in<俚>To become operative or take effect(especially in medicine)[eg:The capsule started to kicked in]

Phoebe: Oh.

Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (He’s sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!

lie back v.倚靠(在椅子上)

[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]

Rachel: Coming.

(She opens the door to reveal Ross with a pencil mark from his forehead to his chin.)

Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.

a bone to pick n.暂时的工作/have a bone to pick with sb<俚>有理由提出抱怨或争论 要和某人算算账[经典的浴室使用权争吵:Honey, I have a bone to pick with you. I don’t mind you getting into the bathroom first in the morning, but do you have to be in there so long? You know, I have to get to work on time, too]

Rachel: Uh-oh.

Ross: Yes! Ben learned a little trick.

trick n.恶作剧

Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old… (She is waving her hand up and down her face. She’s thinking about the pencil mark.)

Ross: That’s right! That’s right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!

Saran Wrap: 罗斯让瑞秋带了一天本,结果本学会了很多恶作剧。比如,罗斯说本把保鲜膜(Saran Wrap)绷在抽水马桶上,让罗斯尿了一地。Saran Wrap原本是一个商标(赛纶塑料纸),但后来成为了保鲜膜的代称[这种情况称为: Genercized Trademark]/sarn n.莎纶(此种合成纤维的商标名)/Plastic wrap is a thin plastic film(n.薄膜) typically used for sealing food items in containers to keep them fresh. Plastic wrap, typically sold on rolls in boxes with a cutting edge, clings to many smooth surfaces and can thus remain tight over the opening of a container with no adhesive(n.粘合剂) or other devices. Common plastic wrap is roughly 0.01 mm (0.0004 in) thick.Plastic wrap is known as cling-film in the United Kingdom and cling wrap in Australia. Commonly known brands of plastic wrap in the United States include Saran wrap, Glad wrap and Stretch-Tite. In Australia and New Zealand, Glad wrap is the leading brand, known well enough to make its manufacturer concerned about its name becoming a genericized trademark. In Canada, Saran wrap is the genericized trademark. In Hong Kong, a company named Fine Vantage Limited is the major private label LDPE plastic wrap manufacturer.One of the more recent innovations is perforated(adj.凿孔的) plastic wrap.

Rachel: Oh that.

Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! They’re mean and they’re stupid and-and I don’t want my son learning them!

pratical joke n.恶作剧

Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you don’t think that’s just a little funny?!

Ross: I was barefoot.

barefoot adj.赤脚的

Rachel: Oh.

Ross: You see,You see…This is exactly what I’m talking about.You’re not laughing with someone, you’re laughing at them.And laughing at someone is not nice.

Rachel: So you’re one of those too.

Ross: Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?

Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are there.]

Phoebe: It’s amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?

Monica: Hexadrin. (She gets the box out of her purse.)

Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)

Monica: No Phoebe, those are like the side affects and stuff.

Phoebe: Say what?

Monica: Y’know, the possible side affects.

Phoebe: Oh my God! (Starts reading them.) Dizziness, nervousness, drowsiness, facial swelling, nausea, headache—Headache. Vomiting, stomach bleeding, liver damage! Now okay, I don’t recall any of this coming up when you gave me these little death capsules! Oh I’m sorry, extra-strength death capsules!

drowsiness n.睡意/drowsy adj.昏昏欲睡的/swelling n.肿块/bleeding n.流血

Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!

Phoebe: Why?

Monica: In case it happens.

Joey: (entering) Hey!

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)

Reverend n.(对教士的尊称)…牧师/ordination n. 圣职之任命

Chandler: Hey!

Monica: You did it! You got ordained?!

Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!

Chandler: Our minister…

Joey: I can now officially marry anybody I want.(A couple approach)Hey, you guys seem happy. If you ever want to get marry, you give me a call.If not, you give me a call.

Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)

torso n.躯干

Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)

Phoebe: Okay, then I must be disoriented.

disoriented adj.分不清方向或目标的 无判断力的

Joey: Anyway, I started working on what I’m going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?

Chandler: Okay.

Monica: Yeah!

Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so… (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) “We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.” (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) “It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving.” (Phoebe nods her approval.) “We too can share and love and have and receive.”

joyous adj.高兴的

Chandler: (To Monica) Should we call the spitter?

Commercial Break

[Scene: Carol and Susan’s, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]

Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)

Rachel: Hi!

Carol: What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?

Rachel: Well y’know I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, “What’s up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?”

pass by v.经过

Carol: Can I ask what—Come on in.

Rachel: Okay.

Carol: Umm uh, I’ll make some coffee and we can uh, chat.

Rachel: I’d love that. I would loooove… (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little…

Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)

Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why I’ve come here to talk to you okay?

Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?

Rachel: Yes oh—(To Ben)—Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?

Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?

Rachel: Don’t do that.

Ben: Don’t do that.

Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesn’t like pranks.

prank n.胡闹 恶作剧

Ben: Seriously, your dad doesn’t like pranks.

Rachel: Oh damnit!

Ben: Oh damnit!

Rachel: No! Don’t say that! Don’t say that!

Ben: Damnit!

Rachel: No don’t! Go back to repeating!

Ben: Damnit!

Rachel: Oh crap!

Ben: Oh crap!

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]

Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?

swell v.膨胀 增大

Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!

Phoebe: Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! (Holds up the warning label.)

Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?

Chandler: Yeah. O-okay.

Joey: (reading) “When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and…” And then I can’t think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)

Monica: How about receiving?

Joey: Yes!

Chandler: See Joe, not that that’s not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Y’know, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!

Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?

Chandler: No, not us… (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)

Monica: I gotcha. Sorry. (To Monica) So, did you ever make him throw up a whole anything?

Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?

Monica: It doesn’t say that!

It doesn’t say that<口>上面可没这样说

Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!

Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but y’know, romantic stories. Nice stories.

Joey: Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe I’ll talk about London! Y’know when you two hooked up! Only, only I won’t say hooked up. I’ll say, “Began their beautiful journey…”

Monica: There you go!

Joey: “…by doin’ it.”

Chandler: Joe?

Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing y’know you’re in the bathtub together and she’s feeding you strawberries?

strawberry

Chandler: Isn’t that what happened with you and the bride’s maid?

Joey: Yeah!! (make a dirty voice)I call that London style.

Monica: No that is not what happened with us.

Phoebe: Maybe you should say it is, because London styIe sounds nice.

Monica: Okay, uh.. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy thought that I was Ross’s mom.

Joey: Oh.

Monica: And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much…

console v.安慰

Joey: Yeah baby!

Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.

Joey: Oh.

Chandler: But then later that night…

Joey: Yeah baby!

[Cut to London, Chandler’s hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, there’s a knock on the door.]

push-up

Chandler: (answering the door) Hey!

Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! You’re really livin’it up here in London huh?

Cute PJs: 莫尼卡当年在伦敦想找的一夜情是乔伊,但开门后发现穿着睡衣的钱德勒。莫尼卡就说:“可爱的睡衣(Cute PJs)!”PJs是pajamas的缩略语

live it up <俚> to enjoy yourself by doing things that involve spending a lot of money or to enjoy yourself completely without worrying about anything. 狂欢一场 (一反常态地)纵情欢乐 过豪华奢侈的生活

Chandler: Well I was… I was exactly expecting company after…(He looks at his watch.) 9:15.

Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?

Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the bride’s maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, you’re not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?

Monica: Wouldn’t you be?

Chandler: Well, look it’s been a really emotional time y’know, and you’ve had a lot to drink. And you’ve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!

emotional adj.情绪化的

Monica: Really?

Chandler: You kidding? You’re the most beautiful woman in most rooms… (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What’s going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?

Monica: Well, not anymore.

Chandler: But we don’t do that.

Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.

Chandler: How drunk are you?

Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.

take advantage <俚>An extension(n.延伸 扩展) of the sexual usage of take. “To take advantage” of someone is to have sexual contact which someone who is semi or wholly unconsious due to alcohol or drug intake. The “advantage” is because they often can not decline contact or are even aware of said(adj.上述的) contact. Such practice is mostly agreed upon as morally wrong.[eg:I know me and Sarah have been going out for a while, but I couldn’t take adavantage of her when she was wasted]

Chandler: (thinks) That’s the perfect amount!

Monica: Okay!

(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)

Monica: (breaking the kiss) Y’know what’s weird?

Chandler: What?

Monica: This doesn’t feel weird!

Chandler: I know.

Monica: You’re a really good kisser.

Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?

Monica: Hm-hmm!

Chandler: Okay!

(They do so and they take off their clothes.)

Monica: Wow! You are really fast!

Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.

bode vi.预示 有…好兆头(+for)[eg: These events bode well for us]

Monica: We’re gonna see each other naked.

Chandler: Yep!

Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?

Chandler: Count of three?

Monica: One!

Chandler: Two!

Monica: Two!

Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)

grin

Chandler: Well I think it’s safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.

effectively adv.实际上[eg: Effectively, their response was a refusal]/It’s safe to say that: 可以毫不夸张地说 可以万无一失地说[eg:It’s safe to say that  British people always talk about the weather when they meet]

Monica: Eh, we weren’t that close anyway!

Chandler: Eh!

(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)

Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)

Joey: Hey!

Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e… (Notices that the TV is turned off.)

Joey: Oh, dude I’m so sorry!

Chandler: No! No! No!

Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! It’s cool! It’s cool! I-I’ll only be a second, I’m still with my bride’s maid, I just—Where are those condoms you brought?

Chandler: They’re in my bag over there. (Points.)

Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandler’s bag by getting as far away from Chandler’s bed as possible.)

Chandler: Uh, could you leave me one?

Joey: (pause) For just you?

Chandler: Yeah.

Joey: Hey listen, why don’t you come downstairs with me? There’s some really nice girls down there.

Chandler: No I-I-I’m fine.

Joey: All right, here you go buddy. (He tosses him one.) Go nuts. (Exits.)

[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]

Joey: That’s what that was?! ‘Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.

be onto sth <口>正在做什么事

Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because it’s really doing nothing for me.

Joey: Oh… (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadn’t left you that last one? You two might’ve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Did you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! It’s like it was in the stars!

hooker n. <美口>妓女[eg: He was surprised to see hookers move into the next apartment]/star n.命运

Phoebe: Yeah, it’s totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.

Monica: What?!

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!

Chandler: Who did you originally want to hook up with?

Monica: Okay, fine but please don’t be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted…just sex. So, when I…went to your room that night…I was actually looking…for Joey. (Joey smiles.)

Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, scene continued from earlier.]

Chandler: Oh my god (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Were you ever planning on telling me about this?

Monica: No because I didn’t seem important.

Chandler: Oh, it’s not important? It’s not important?! If it wasn’t for a bride’s maid you’d be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!

Monica: Noo!! The point is it was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I fell in love with!

Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv—(Shuts up on Monica’s glare.)

Chandler: I don’t believe it. The most romantic night of my life and I’m runner up.

runner-up n.亚军 第二名

Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!

Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now I’m a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!

cloth <书幽>教士的职业/a man of the cloth <俚>a member of the clergy;a spiritual leader of the Christian Church; priest

Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way you’re doing this wedding now. Okay?

Joey: What?! That’s not fair! It’s not my fault! I was off with my bride’s maid! And who’s to say I would’ve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I would’ve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way too big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!

make way too big a deal out of 实在太小题大作了

Chandler: Okay, it’s just weird! Okay? I don’t want to be standing there saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need…I don’t know what I need. I need a walk.

Monica: Wait Chandler come on, let’s—it’s not a big deal!

Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)

setter for v.满足于 勉强接受[eg:We reached the hotel late and had to settle for a room without a view]/Batman (originally referred to as the Bat-Man and still referred to at times as the Batman) is a fictional comic book superhero co-created by artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger (although only Kane receives official credit) and published by DC Comics. The character made his first appearance in Detective Comics #27 (May 1939). Batman’s secret identity is Bruce Wayne, a wealthy industrialist(n.工厂主), playboy, and phil-anthrop-ist(n.慈善家). Witnessing the murder of his parents as a child leads him to train himself to physical and intellectual perfection(n.完美 尽善尽美) and don(vt.穿上) a bat-themed costume in order to fight crime. Batman operates in Gotham City, assisted by various supporting characters including his sidekick(n.搭档) Robin and his butler(n.男管家) Alfred Pennyworth, and fights an assortment of villains influenced by the characters’ roots in film and pulp magazines(<主美>低俗书刊). Unlike most superheroes, he does not possess any superpowers; he makes use of intellect, detective skills, science and technology, wealth, physical prowess, and intimidation in his war on crime.Batman became a popular character soon after his introduction, and eventually gained his own title, Batman. As the decades wore on, differing takes on the character emerged. The late 1960s Batman television series utilized a camp aesthetic associated with the character for years after the show ended. The 1986 Frank Miller miniseries Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and the success of Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman motion picture helped return the character to his dark roots. Over the years, Batman has become one of the world’s most recognized superheroes.A cultural icon, Batman has been licensed and adapted into a variety of media, from radio to television and film, and appears on a variety of merchandise sold all over the world.

Robin is a fictional character, a superhero in the DC Comics universe. Robin has long been a fixture(n.固定角色) in the Batman comic books as Batman’s sidekick. Since Dick Grayson’s first appearance as Robin in 1940, several different youths have appeared as Robin.The early adventures of Robin included Star Spangled Comics #65-130 (1947-1952), his first solo feature. The first Robin limited series was published in 1991, featuring Tim Drake’s training to become the third Robin. Following two successful sequels, the monthly(adj.每月一次的) Robin ongoing(adj.正在进行的) series began in 1993 and is still published to this day.The team of Batman and Robin is sometimes referred to as the Dynamic Duo.

Joey: This is crazy.

Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!

Monica: Phoebe, what were you thinking? How could you tell him that?

Phoebe: I don’t know. I’m sorry, it just came out.It’s a side effect.

[Scene: Carol and Susan’s, Rachel is talking with Ben.]

Rachel: So now what have we agreed?

Ben: No more pranks.

Rachel: And-and what else?

Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.

Rachel: Very good.

(There’s a knock on the door and Ross enters.)

Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?

Rachel: I’m just visiting my good friend Carol.

Ross: Your good friend?

Rachel: Yeah!

Ross: What’s her last name?

Rachel: Carol…Lesbian?

Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?

Rachel: What line?

Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) “Dude, don’t you ever wash your face?”

frat boy<俚>A college kid who thinks he’s better than everyone else because he is in a fraternity(n.兄弟会). Some college kids are frat boys even though they aren’t in a fraternity. Frat boy behaviour is typified by drinking shitty(adj.劣等的) beer, hitting on high school girls, making fun of punks, and wearing boring clothes.

Rachel: All right, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but you were so mad already!

Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-it’s not funny!

Carol: (entering from the kitchen) Hey Ross!

Ross: Hi.

Carol: What’s not funny?

Ross: Practical jokes.

Carol: Oh I…I think they’re funny.

Ross: You have a line down your face.

Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)

Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you…

Carol: (yelling from the bathroom) Oh my God!

Rachel: Or Carol! But they’re funny to kids and who is it hurting?!

Ross: Uh, y’know what? I’ll tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principal’s office wearing nothing but a catcher’s mitt!

principal n.(中学)校长/catcher <棒>接球手/mitt n.棒球手套

catcher’s mitt

Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, “I will be revenged?!”

junior high n.初中/revenge v.复仇

Ross: I will be! Listen, I don’t want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?

Rachel: Fine. Fine, but I’ll have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but I’ll go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if that’s what you want!

Ross: No that’s not what I want. Uh, I’m glad you guys were bonding but I…

Rachel: Look he doesn’t have any brothers or sisters, somebody’s gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I haven’t taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesn’t know anyway!

Ben: (yelling from off camera) Crap!!

Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]

sulk v.生闷气 愠怒

Joey: Hey.

Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!

Joey: Chandler, come on,nothing even happened!

Chandler: Look Joe, I know you wanted to do the wedding…

Joey: No-hey-no! If you don’t want me to do it, I accept that. I don’t care about that. I just…I don’t want you to be upset.

Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!

Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! You’re so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, ‘cause you guys are perfect for each other. Y’know, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just…it-it fits. Y’know? And you just know it’s gonna last forever.

Chandler: That’s what you should say.

Joey: What?

Chandler: When you’re marrying us; that’s what you should say.

Joey: Really? I can do it?

Chandler: I’d love it if you would do it.

Joey: Hey! (They hug.)

Chandler: But those are the words! Those exact words!

Joey: Well I don’t know remember exactly but, it’s-it’s pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.

[Scene: Joey and Rachel’s, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]

Ross: Hey!

Rachel: Hey!

Ross: Hey I’m sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-I’ve got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh,‘Fun Aunt’ Rachel, so…

ask for v.要找

Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, don’t we Ben? (He nods yes.)

Ross: Okay, I’ll see you later pal.

(Ross turns to leave.)

Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads ‘Poop.’) Wh—Ah-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I can’t do it.

poop<俚>粪便

Ross: What?

Rachel: I can’t let him go out that way, he’s got a meeting. (To Ross) You’ve got something here on your back.

Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) That’s great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!

crumple v.起皱[eg: Some kinds of material crumple more easily than others]/crumple up the paper v.捏成纸团

Rachel: Oh I…

Ben: What did we just finish talking about Ben?!

Ross: All right, that’s it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Come—you—no! You are in big trouble young man!

Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!

[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]

Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!

Rachel: No you guys… (She walks out into the hallway.)

Ross: I-I-am—(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)

Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy.What a elaborate prank!)

dummy n.假人

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]

Joey: Hey!

Monica: Hey-hey.

Joey: So are guys doing okay?

Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over-reacted a little bit and somethings in life are more important.

Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)

Phoebe: I’m really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.

[Scene: Monica and Joey’s, Monica is cooking.]

Monica: Honey! Dinner’s ready!

(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)

Fat Joey: What’s my little chef got for me tonight?

Monica: Your favorite!

Joey: Ho-ho-ho, (pausing for a rest next to the fridge) fried stuff with cheese!

Monica: Yep! And lots of it!

Fat Joey: Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. (They kiss.) Okay.

(Joey sits down.)

Monica: Okay, Here we go.

(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)

in combination with adv.与…相结合

Fat Joey: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! (Groans and picks up a piece of food.) How you doin’?

Ending Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]

Joey: Here you go.

Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) That’s it! I’m out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!

out of the woods adv.出森林 脱离危险

Joey: Good for you!

Phoebe: Oh, it’s like huge weight has been lifted! ‘Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, I’m just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoria—Oh.

it’s like huge weight has been lifted <口>一块石头落地了[美国人的思维是:一大块重量被提走了]/rash n.<医>皮疹/hives n.麻疹/short of breath adj.呼吸短促 气喘吁吁/temporary adj.一时的/One type of euphoria are sexual climax or orgasm n.极度欣快

End

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